My Life's Dream

Here is the thing I've wanted to do all my life, and it was wrapped up in one of the best documentaries I've seen. Very touching tale, and I am in admiration of both Donald Crowhurst and Bernard Moitessier. It's funny because not long ago my mom gave me some papers I drew when I was maybe 12 and it was something like "I want to take all my friends and family on a boat trip"... I had no idea I had that idea when I was that young.

But going further, when I was maybe 6 my parents gave me a lego set and I had this brilliant idea of using the top lid of the paper package that the set came in to sail out on the sea by sitting on it, glad I didn't do it just then.

It's with a warm heart and moist eyes I link to this documentary, hell, I hope I'll do it soon too, and just like Moitessier I would be seen from maybe never again.

I think I know what Crowhurst experienced towards the end of this documentary, Master Sokei-an Sasaki (1882 - 1945) said this about him gaining Satori;

"One day I wiped out all the notions from my mind. I gave up all desire. I discarted all the words with which I thought and stayed in quietude. I feelt a little queer - as if were being carried into something, or as if I were touching some power unkown to me - and Ztt! I entered. I lost the boudary of my physical body, I had my skin, of course, but I felt I was standing in the center of the cosmos. I spoke, but my words had lost all their meaning. I saw people walk towards me, but all were the same person. All were myself! I had never known this world. I had believed I was created, but now I must change my opinion: I was never created; I was the cosmos; no individual Mr. Sasaki existed.

"

To brighten this miserable place up a little, more serious stuff later.

Celebrating 200th Post The Proper Way - Insight To "Thanks-giving"

Fuck thanksgiving and everyone who celebrates that.

The Genius of Stanislavski

I am still amazed at the genius of Stanislavski. What I wouldn't have
done to study with this god if he was alive around now. I am
continually amazed at what I read when I open up his books and just
like the back of his third book "Creating A Role" says at the back by
a journalist from "The Observer", "A careful reading is worth several
lessons in almost any English acting academy". I beg to differ though.
A careful read of his three books and to a lesser extent "My Life In
Art" (his auto biography) is worth several YEARS in any acting
academy, if the RADA summer school is any glimpse into what you learn
in RADA anyway.

I can't sit and read for too long. For two main reasons. When I read
my mind goes bonkers and all over the place when I read a paragraph. I
immediately take in what I have read and start talking about it in my
own head, so reading becomes a mentally hard-work exercise. And number
two, and more importantly, the books (more specifically, the one I am
reading right now, Creating A Role) is so jammed packed with
quintessential gems of knowledge you can only be amazed and learn so
much that after one hours read I am exhausted and need to step away to
take it all in.

Like I said, a careful read is wroth several years in any english
acting academy.

Creating A Role, P.95. Talking about when an actor works with a play
in his imagination THOROUGHLY and he KNOWS the character like the back
of his hands, like when you live with someone for so long you KNOW how
that person is going to react to this or that, he says;
"When the actor in his creativeness measures up to a remarkable text,
the words of his parts prove the best, the most indispensable, the
easiest form of verbal embodiment with which he can make manifest his
own creative emotions through his inner core."

At the beginning of studying of a part the text on your paper is just
a bunch of words that mean nothing to you. They are as alien to you as
a foreigner whom you don't know exists that breathes and lives on the
other side of the planet. But when you study and study and study, go
through the play with your imagination and your own mind there comes a
point when you, without sounding too cheesy, become the part, and all
of a sudden the text that at the beginning were completely alien, all
of a sudden, in that given circumstance that you find yourself in the
play/role, no other word could fit more perfectly to go from your soul
out through your lips.

Mind = blown.

More of this to come. I've been thinking way too much lately.

The Enlightenment of Sokei-an Sasaki

"One day I wiped out all the notions from my mind. I gave up all
desire. I discarded all the words with which I thought and stayed in
quietude. I felt a little queer—as if I were being carried into
something, or as if I were touching some power unknown to me . . . and
Zzzt! I entered. I lost the boundary of my physical body. I had my
skin, of course, but I felt I was standing in the center of the
cosmos. I spoke, but my words had lost their meaning. I saw people
coming towards me, but all were the same man. All were myself! I had
never known this world. I had believed that I was created, but now I
must change my opinion: I was never created; I was the cosmos; no
individual Mr. Sasaki existed."

Can't wait to act. I want to get to acting and show everyone that I
can do it better then anyone else.

A Streetcar Named Desire + Fugitive Kind ON THE MOVIES.

Best movie experience I've had in my life so far. Now, I've seen both
films a few times before already, of course, so I wasn't sure if I
should go see it again, I thought I should let it rest for a few years
before watching it again but then I thought "these films on the
cinema... when will I get that chance again?"... so I went! And damn
and I glad I did. These two films, especially Streetcar is so much
better on the big screen it's freaky. It was as if I saw them for the
first time.

Usually when I watch a film unless it's SUPER good I get bored after
an hours, my mind is simply all over the place sometimes, but I flew
threw both these films and it was pure joy. Watching Brando (I call
him "my teacher" in my head, because he really is the one who taught
me acting) on the big screen is just fascinating and I hope to do just
a good of a job like he one day!

One thing that was fascinating was to hear peoples reaction watching
the film. People were laughing quite a lot at Brando. Not AT him but
with him like he was a jokester, people were obviously on "his side"
from the beginning which was interesting. Yes it is different watching
films in a situation like that.

I sat as I mostly do in the middle of the 4th row. I slide forward a
bit to the edge of my seat with my neck resting on the back-rest and
kick my feet up and life is good. It really is one of my favorite
things to do.

I saw Streetcar yesterday and just got back home from watching The
Fugitive Kind and yea Marlon is great of course but this time I really
took a huge shine towards Anna Magnani. She really put on a fantastic
performance in this film and I've heard people don't like her acting,
they must be out of their minds. "Smaken som baken", as they say in
Sweden. And I almost cried at the end of the film when she is standing
in her thing that she build up that the old man burns down right after
she tells Xavier a bunch of heartfellt stuff and takes a handfull of
those things that hang down and puts it on her while swirling... wow.

She actually looks like a skinny version of my mom a lot, freaky.

So there you go, my definitely best movie experience so far. Maybe I
can give you, the future reader, one one day.

Still don't know how to get to L.A. I keep myself busy a bit with
photography and I've just run out of money, but it's cool, I really
don't give a rats ass about money.

Italia Uno

Ok Italia Uno, my favorite place while I was in London. The best thing is that it was like 50 meters from where I live, I just exited the place I was staying at, took a right then was there in 30 seconds. I don't know exactly but it must've been like 95 Charlotte Street or something because I was staying at 99 Charlotte Street. I love this place because it was really authentic italian. The people working there barely spoke a lick of Enlglish, except for the owner Felice (not sure how you spell that name). Felice was so cool man, I used to go there pretty often with a script in hand thinking and memorizing stuff, it felt so calm and the right place to be when doing such stuff. 

I used to sit by the window looking at people walking by and it was twice the enjoyment when it was POURING outside and I sat there with script on my right, cup of coffee on my left and I thought "this is the way to live it"... life that is.

I kick myself for always forgetting my camera at home EVERYDAY, jesus... but the best memories are in my head anyways so.

Often I sat there and had a nice friendly chat with Felice and sometimes with the old boys sitting outside. One of them even gave me a cigar once, it was like they invited me to their family. I would love to go there again as soon as possible to have another italian sandwich and talk to Felice and have a cigar with the old fellas with a new script in my hand snapping pictures and watching football later...

...maybe one day in the future.

So, if you go to London, go to Italia Uno and say 'Hi' to Felice, he works like 6-7 days a week (closed on Sunday when there is football)

Stanley Kubrick Says

Good, good man.

Writing my autobiography... thus far.

I was watching The Last Emperor the other night and early in the film a man gets send to prison where he and everyone else is given a empty book and a piece of charcoal and are told to write down the story of their life so far and confess to the bad things they have done. I thought what a wonderful idea! Why not sit and write a full autobiographical book ABOUT ME that no one will ever read, because it won't be shown to anyone else. An amazing writing exercise I think.

I am immediately intrigued and feel like it sounds like a super fun idea. The idea about being brutally honest to yourself while writing down EVEN THOUGH NO ONE IS GOING TO READ IT is a bit intimidating. I kind of painted this romantic picture in my head of writing it while abroad with my Nikon FM2n beside me under a tree or something churning out pages.   

I think I need to migrate to L.A or something. RADA aint going to work. Theater in NY sounds fun though. Oh, maybe I will write a book about MY theory of acting, how about that? Cheers. How do I go to L.A though? My downside is I am to lazy (read: Artistic... HA!) to work, I think I might pull myself out of my sofa and do it though, how else am I going to go there? If anyone has a couch for me to crash over there, do send an email :-) Words on the street is that I am brilliant to have around, like a house spirit.

Book about myself, book about my theory of acting (very zen-buddhist style) and L.A. Uh... good luck. Thanks.

Reminds me to write about the amazing ITALIA UNO next time. I miss that place already.

A Taoist Poem

"A Taoist poet, T`ao Ch`ien (372-427 A.D.). said

"Plucking chrysanthemums along the eastern fence;

Gazing in silence at the Southern Hills;

The birds flying home in pairs

Through the soft mountain air of dusk -

In these things there are deep meaning.

But when we are about to express it.

We suddenly forget the words"

You can read more specifically about it here. And also Alan Watts mentioned in in an .mp3 file I have called Man In Nature. Deeply fascinating. 

Romania?

Don't get exited, I'm not doing some village-play in Romania. I got a
great friend whom I met in San Diego, great girl, so much fun. She
even traveled around Europe for a bit, same time I was in turkishland
with my parents so we decided to meet up in Istanbul to crash the city
for a couple of days, again great fun! It's been a few years seens
I've seen her last (aaww), looks like she joined the Peace Corps and
ended up being a teacher in Romania! She explained Panciu as this calm
vinyard place surrounded with hills and this peaked my interest. Why
not meed up with the funniest girl on terra firma with my Nikon F5 and
Nikon FM2 (which I'll be getting soon I hope), bunch of film rolls,
books and just see what's what in Panciu? Better to go there and relax
and enjoy myself then stay here and do the same I would've thought.

Still no clue whatsoever about what to do with acting, no chance I am
doing a three year stint in RADA, if I know myself I'll get bored
after a month and start tearing that place a new one. I'd be mistaking
walls for mountains and start climbing them claiming it a new
country... alas.

We'll see where the wind takes me. There is this one girl from an
acting class from early this year that I keep reminiscing about. Now,
usually I never meet someone who interest me too much, most people are
quite a like one another dear I say and that bores me to no end, I
love individuality. This one though had a great energy about her. It
was almost palpable. She had the most beautiful curly hair and a
adorable personality to match, and she smelled like vanilla. Her name
was Julia if I remember correctly, but don't quote me on it, names was
never my forte. Unfortunately I quit before I thought of getting her
number or whatever, humpf...

Romania, how does that sound? I'll spend my last bucks going there and
back and I'll be a man all out of money. Bad habbit that, never got
that urge to make money unless I have I need money for something. Damn
natureboy.

In The Mood For Love

I feel obliged to remind people of this film.

Misty Rain On Mount Lu

On Mount Lu there is misty rain,
And the River Zhe is at high tide.
When you have not been there,
your heart is filled with longing;

But when you have been there and come back,
it was nothing special.
Misty rain on a mountain,
A river at high tide.

~By Sotoba, the Chinese Poet (1036~1101)

Isn't that beautiful? I need to find me a book with a collection of
old eastern asian poems like such. Zen-like poems.

A Sanskrit Proverb

Look To This Day
For it is life,
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and verities of existence,
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power . . .

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of
happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of
hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

- Sanskrit Proverb

What To Do...?

Still thinking about John Cazale... If only he had an autobiographical book I could read. 

So, I am unsure what to do next. I don't want to stay in Sweden that's obvious. I just might go and do an audition for RADA for the three year course. Imagine going to school for THREE years though, gosh. I'll be 28 by the time I finish IF I GET IN ON MY FIRST AUDITION. Humm.. what to do what to do. I'd like to do more film stuff. I still think that theater will be a great foundation experience for me, but I am definitely more inclined for film in my nature then theater. It became quickly obvious 2-3 weeks into RADA summer course that there is a lot more bodily gesticulation and motions (obviously) then I thought, a bit disconcerting for my taste.

I got an email from a great old friend, a friend I met in San Diego and whom I later met up in Istanbul and had a great time with, looks like she joined the Peace Corp and is working as a teacher in a, what sounds like, a looovely part in Romania with Vineyards and hills and stuff. I'd love to go there for a while, just chilling and relaxing (like I haven't done that enough, but need a change of scenery :P) and hang out with my old travel buddy and indulge more of my photography. I'm probably going to get me a Nikon FM2n (I'd love to have a FM3A but way expencive, 400 bucks or something).

Humm... what to do, what to do?

3 years RADA, travel, or at least get a frigging job like a normal human while I think about it, jeez. I still miss all my mates from my summer class, the friday night before we left was so much fun. I am usualy not a club guy but that was amazing fun.

The Blog That Keeps On Giving

I really should keep up with my blog again. I am stunned at the good things in it (look at me bigging up my own blog). No but really. Just did a quick scroll down and found an amazing bit of question from Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what

if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange

and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the

flower in your hand? Ah, what then?"

Isn't that beautiful? I forgot about that. And also the documentary about John Cazale... wow. If you just found this blog or whatever, please do yourself a favour, watch this 30 minute documentary about an incredibly fantastic actor. I'll be brooding over the way he acted and take it to heart in hopes to learn something from him. "If I have seen further, it's because I stood on the shoulders of giants". Please please watch it. Thank you.

Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts Summer School

I should first do a little notice and explain why I have been absent. I sort of lost interest a little bit and nothing special was happening up to going to RADA and I didn't feel like talk about myself (because that is so boring let's be honest, keeping this pro and not personal, although that is what people want to read the most).

It's over! I can't believe it, didn't even feel like it ever began. Damn times flies by so fast. Two weeks in it felt like it had been two months, when it was all over felt like it had been two days, go figure. For anyone wondering, it was amazing fun. We were thirteen funny poeple, all sorts of folks who got together and for four weeks had an amazing experience together. As usual, out of 13 people we were only 3 guys, yet there are by far a lot more male roles then female roles out there, what the fak? 

As far as the course goes, we did a Shakespearian play, Measure For Measure. We didn't do the whole thing though, we did like a boiled-down 40 minute version where the same character was played by different people. I for example played the strict and weak (in some aspects) Lord Angelo. More specifically Act 2 Scene 4 with my co-actor Colleen who played Isabella wonderfully, great cast as far as I am concerned. 

I also played a tiny Lord Angelo bit at the beginning of Act 5 Scene 1 then quickly switched over to playing the Duke for the last bit where Angelo is put into his place and he admits his wrong-doings and I sort everything out. 

I am so happy I managed to do a short but fun Shakespeare play! And Angelo was an interesting character and I love my scene (Act 2 Scene 4) I think it was very interestingly directed by our teacher/director the sweet Brigit Panet. 

We Did a lot more then just doing a Shakespeare play though. We had a ton of voice classes, monologue class, stage combat, stage fight (fencing) and perhaps the best class of them all... DANCING. Guess what the teacher's name is? Dr. Dance. BOOM. Let it hit you like a ton of bricks. Well, his actual name is Darren but he is known as Dr. Dance a.k.a. The God of Dance. We did a HUGE dance routine with ALL the other groups (The summer course kids were split into six groups, with about 13 people in each group) at the last day and our class (the best class if you ask me) we were the mighty and elegant Peacocks! We had lovely masks on and everything. And at the end after a few dranks (yes, I say dranks) Dr. Dance went wild and did a solo dance-off to "I Will Survive". Am now forever in love with another male. 

Our class was so funny. We had all sorts of people. A few young girls, a few old girls. A few experienced people and a few un-experienced. I think everyone pulled together at the end and did a great performance. After our performance (we did it at like 11am or something) me and my filipino casanova friend Carlos went to get some food and we both were super tired at the beginning of the first week, after we had done our show though, we both were so pumped we could've done a brand new play straight away! Alas.

Now back in Sweden though I have NO IDEA what to do next, have no clue where to turn to. Perhaps audition for a the full three year course? I have a feeling that would be boring though. Three years is such a long time, I was slightly feeling I wanted to do something new at the beginning of the last week there. Uh, no idea what to do.

Still though, I went to RADA for a whole month (there should be 40 days in a month from now on) had a BLAST the night after it was over (by the way, fuck bowling) when we all went partying and I did ALL OF THAT (and a bag of chips) and now am at home. Kind of feels like my USA adventure, sometimes when I look back I can't believe I actually did that. "Did I do that? Cool"

Now everyone wants me to get Facebook "By popular demand" "Gone but not forgotten". I miss everyone from class.

Off to new adventures, I'll try to keep the blog updated more from now on, and I might add details about the specific classes in the future. Anything in particular you want to know? Email me.

Off to new adventures!

First Day At RADA

A good one!

I am not interested anymore to tell people in the future what I did or do in these days of writing anymore. I'm just always looking out the window. Even when I was in these acting classes, always looking out the window, over the next hill, the next curve and all that jazz.

I'm just don't want to tell people what I am up to, I live a solo life.

BUT our head-teacher told us to log what we do, so I am going to blog about that! What goes on in my head... phew, don't bother, driving me nuts, I should see a physiatrist, but they are neither worth my money nor time, time sink.

Anyway, we started off at 9.30am, we all basically checked in and got our fobs so we can walk freely around RADA and all that good stuff. Again, mostly girls in the group, which is alright but I'd like to have more men to get inspiration or whatever, to see how other guys do it, we got two other dudes though, better then nothing, seems like fun guys as well so yeah.

What is it with guys and acting classes, why are there 90% women? When we were sitting in the main theater room I saw a feeeew dudes, not that many, again mostly women, a bit boring but whatever.

The people in my class are cool though, all sorts of people. Uh, before I forget, 90% americans :) or north americans. Funny is that? Funny to me.

Not sure what to write, my mind is somewhere else. Kenshin OAV series has me on a emotional rollercoster the pasts weeks. I can't get this song out of my ears.

Don't watch the video of this youtube clips, just listened to the song. Of course the song means nothing to you, but it has emotional memories going wild in my memories.

RADA good though, we did bunch of stuff bla bla bla, my mind is somewhere else.

I feel Kenshin. It was a bit the same when watching Runway Train, was almost like watching my self riding on that train.

We are going to do Measure For Measure, so I'll go and read that. Later

Alan Watts On Death

I feel like making a video of this as my last film for my beginners filmmaker class.

"Going to sleep, and never waking up"

Funny that. Alan Watts died in his sleep due to heart failure. A case of art imitating life perhaps.

UPDATE: Can't believe this video is gone, thank god I saved it on mp3, feel yourself unlucky. Do send an email if you are curious as to what this clip was.

Gorillas

"Hey Leon, want to go clubbing?

"no"

"Hey Leon, want to go to this or that movie premier Brad Pitt and bla bla is going to be there?"

"no"

"Leon, want to go and check out maybe buy a new car?"
"no"

"Go hit on hot chicks at the beach?"
"no"

I rather do this

C ya later.

To the reader-

"This figure that thou here seest put

It was for gentle Shakespeare cut

Wherein the graver had a strife

With nature to outdo the life

O, could he but have drawn his wit

As well in brass he hath hit

His face, the print would then surpass

All that was ever writ in brass!

But since he cannot, reader, look

Not on his picture, but his book."

- Ben Jonson

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what

if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange

and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the

flower in your hand? Ah, what then?"

... ah, what then?

The cold is gone! And here is some philosophy. It's boring talking about the philosophy of acting, I know it, I get it, I understand and realize the truth and the great idea behind acting then all of my teachers I feel like, and that's saying something.

Like I said, I am not going to post the petty meaningless posts about how my last shit break was like every odd person does, this blog is for the future, it's how I navigated through and became the actor I am today (in the future).

So here is some amazing documentaries about three philosophers, Friedrich Nietzsche, Martin Heidegger, Jean-Paul Sartre.

Forget about acting and you'll be a better actor because of it.

John Cazale Addendum

I should do a longer post about John Cazale I think. I felt like the documentary would speak more highly then I ever could so I kept it short. If Brando showed me how to naturally act in primary parts John opened up the fact that playing secondary roles, he just owns that role and does it as if it's better then primary roles.

I've always known that playing secondary roles over primary if the part is good is a 'common sense' thing, of course you would do it, but he just blew up the whole thing even further.

Quality over quantity.

That documentary really touched me, he seemed like a lovely soul.

I've got such a bad cold, I think I might die tonight.

John Cazale - I Knew It Was You

An poignant and touching short documentary (30something minutes) about the fine actor John Cazale.

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/MMpEOEMXGaY/

Koyaanisqatsi

Take out an hour and a half out of your life, lean back, and enjoy.

Ben

Here is a documentary about Ben, a struggling heroin addict. This is GOLD for the actor, a perfect testament of human behavior of a person who is in this case a heroin addict. Not only is it very touching and I was rooting for Ben and the documentary made me sad an actor has to at the same time just bask in this perfect example of how a human is.

If you as an actor ain't watching things like this to learn from, instead of watching fucking Twilight or whatever you are not an actor, you are just a hack.

Very moving and great docu, RIP buddy.

Out Of Here

Yea, it's all clear in my head now. I got to move to London or whatever, get out of here. Time to get the ball rolling. If I stay here much longer I am going to either kill myself or everyone around me. I am about to blow, and once I leave, I am never going to come back if I have even the SLIGHTEST possibility of staying. If I head the fucking vacuum cleaner again, I'm going to draw a knife across my wrists (I can hear it downstairs as we speak).

I find some solace fucking off to cinemataket who treat me with amazing films, saw A Clockwork Orange the other day (in a cinema, imagine that, and 2001: A Space Odyssey is coming up) , a story in itself that anecdote. And also going to library and reading reading and reading. After about two hours my brain is a bit knackered, take a pause, go back. Writing this I thought of more blog posts to do, i'll do it a bit later, spread 'em out a little bit. 

So there, people can look back on spring 2010 and go "Yep, he was frustrated beyond belief" 

The Miyazaki Temple

I don't feel like writing entires about me being fed up, so I am not going to, still looking forward to leaving to London, might overstay my welcome there. Here is a fantastic hour long documentary from one of my heroes in life, Hayao Miyazaki and his Studio Ghibli.

Philosophy Is Great

I'm warming up to it a lot lately, and it ties together great with acting and theater as well. You most not forget that just living the life of a person who studies acting solely will greatly hinder the actor, he should strive to explore and learn of life in general as much as acting. More actually since life is infinitely wider field then specifically acting. 

I am reading Sophie's World which is a popular philosophy book for the beginners. And the author Jostein Gaarder writes down a bit about how Shakespeare contemplated life a lot (as we of course know), a little excerpt from said book;

"In As You Like It, he says:

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players,

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts."

Again proving and showing the fact that acting should be exactly what everyday life is, no theatrical bollocks. Act the way human act.

Jostein then gives another quote, and it shows a bit how Shakespeare later in life might have become more dark towards the idea of life and stuff like that.

"And in Macbeth, he says:

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his our upon the stage

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

Great isn't it? Great insight into an author perhaps. A final quote that struck with me though was from a ancient chinese philosopher Chuang-tzu who famously said/wrote 

"Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, and now I no longer know whether I am Chuang-tzu who dreamed I was a butterfly, 

or whether I am a butterfly dreaming that I am Chuang-tzu"

Food for thought.

Documentary on Nietzsche

For those who are interested in philosophy. I am trying to get my teeth into philosophy and meditation more and more, quite interesting.

The Issue With Working Out

A year ago today I stopped my five year practice of going to the gym five times a week (Monday to Friday). I kept this up for more or less five years with a week break here and there (mostly to let the body rest) and perhaps a month vacation once or twice. 

I started at a nice weight of 120 pounds at 5'10" or 5'11" whatever I am, and stopped at 175ish pounds, not bad I'd say. 

I stopped working out for two reasons, the first being I got a lot more involved with acting (mentally, which is what counts) and I quickly figured out that you can't be ripped and be a proper actor, it just doesn't work. Imagine playing RIchard III or whatever with bulging muscles, come on. And I got a bit tired of working out. I had reached m goal (and then some) and it felt like that this challenge was done and dusted, on to the next big challenge, which is now acting, i.e I have to be very very good and successful then I can dump it and move a long too. Maybe start a charity next or do some philanthropic adventures. 

Having said all this though, I might start working out a bit again, it's quite enjoyable and i have nothing fun to do between now and RADA and I want to keep myself busy. I still absolutely love reading my books and I do it quite a lot but you can't sit and read for hours on end, it's mostly a thing I do in the late hours when my room is full of lit candles etc. I love candle light by the way, totally dumped electric lights these last few days and just used candle lights, it really sets to mood for a nice film or book I tell ya. I really should get to buying a pipe or a few cigars soon again.

The other night after watching Runaway Train I was emotional the whole night until I finally slept. I still can't listen to the end tune that you hear in the film that I linked to in a earlier post, it just brings backs the memories of the situation, the film and all that. THAT what films/acting is about isn't it? When it touches someone like that. Not going to lie though, acting isn't end-all be-all of my life, by no means at all. It's mostly a JOB that I love to do. Don't get me wrong I love the art of acting and I (sometimes) can't get enough of it but at the end of the day there are a million other things I want to spend my time doing too. I would literally give up my life to walk on the moon or mars.

This post is quickly spinning out of hand, a lot happening in this little brain. My point was when I started writing was that I used to work out, I quit, might start again, 2-3 times a week to keep busy, that is all. Jesus christ... 

Beuatiful Death + Poem

[Source: kottke.org]

I thought this pic was really beautiful and doesn't make you believe what it really is, a beautiful death. It kind of is an iconic picture automatically for me... a bit odd.

I'll copy and paste what kottke.org wrote I hope they don't mind but I can't be paraphrasing :)

"On May 1, 1947, Evelyn McHale leapt to her death from the observation deck of the Empire State Building. Photographer Robert Wiles took a photo of McHale a few minutes after her death.

The photo ran a couple of weeks later in Life magazine accompanied by the following caption:

On May Day, just after leaving her fiancé, 23-year-old Evelyn McHale wrote a note. 'He is much better off without me ... I wouldn't make a good wife for anybody,' ... Then she crossed it out. She went to the observation platform of the Empire State Building. Through the mist she gazed at the street, 86 floors below. Then she jumped. In her desperate determination she leaped clear of the setbacks and hit a United Nations limousine parked at the curb. Across the street photography student Robert Wiles heard an explosive crash. Just four minutes after Evelyn McHale's death Wiles got this picture of death's violence and its composure.

From McHale's NY Times obituary, Empire State Ends Life of Girl, 20:

At 10:40 A. M., Patrolman John Morrissey of Traffic C, directing traffic at Thirty-fourth Street and Fifth Avenue, noticed a swirling white scarf floating down from the upper floors of the Empire State. A moment later he heard a crash that sounded like an explosion. He saw a crowd converge in Thirty-third Street.

Two hundred feet west of Fifth Avenue, Miss McHale's body landed atop the car. The impact stove in the metal roof and shattered the car's windows. The driver was in a near-by drug store, thereby escaping death or serious injury.

On the observation deck, Detective Frank Murray of the West Thirtieth Street station, found Miss McHale's gray cloth coat, her pocketbook with several dollars and the note, and a make-up kit filled with family pictures.

The serenity of McHale's body amidst the crumpled wreckage it caused is astounding. Years later, Andy Warhol appropriated Wiles' photography for a print called Suicide (Fallen Body), but I can't find a copy of it anywhere online.Anyone?"

Fitting poem by Joyce Kilmer called "To A Young Poet Who Killed Himself"

"

To a Young Poet who Killed Himself

BY JOYCE KILMER

When you had played with life a space

And made it drink and lust and sing,

You flung it back into God's face

And thought you did a noble thing.

"Lo, I have lived and loved," you said,

"And sung to fools too dull to hear me.

Now for a cool and grassy bed

With violets in blossom near me."

Well, rest is good for weary feet,

Although they ran for no great prize;

And violets are very sweet,

Although their roots are in your eyes.

But hark to what the earthworms say

Who share with you your muddy haven:

"The fight was on — you ran away.

You are a coward and a craven."

"The rug is ruined where you bled;

It was a dirty way to die!

To put a bullet through your head

And make a silly woman cry!

You could not vex the merry stars

Nor make them heed you, dead or living.

Not all your puny anger mars

God's irresistible forgiving.

"Yes, God forgives and men forget,

And you're forgiven and forgotten.

You may be gaily sinning yet

And quick and fresh instead of rotten.

And when you think of love and fame

And all that might have come to pass,

Then don't you feel a little shame?

And don't you think you were an ass?""

Runaway Train

I am deeply touched by this film. I've seen it a once or twice already years ago, this is one of those films that run every year on swedish television... when I used to watch television several years ago.

I gave it another go for nostalgia's sake and I am so very touched. What a riveting, suspense film. I was hooked from the first minute to the last. It's been a very long time since I've seen a film like that. I wasn't sure what to expect before I started watching but now I am in tears... been wiping tears of my face for the last few minutes, especially with the perfectly fitting tune at the end with the end quotes from Richard III;

"No beast so fierce but knows some touch of pity"

"But I know none, therefore am no beast"

Gloria in D Major - Et In Terra Pax

I definitely felt for John Voight's character, I kind of felt some sort of connection what he could've felt and went through, us against the world. Good man at the wrong place and wrong life.

That ending scene is one of the best I've ever seen, it goes straight into my favorite scene library and there are not a lot of scenes in there. Cherry picking.

Check out the trailer now, and see it as soon as you can if you want to do the universe a justice.

Done and DONE With This Place

So yea, needless to say, I quit both of my acting classes. I realized these two old dogs have NOTHING to teach me and I have a much better taste and understanding of acting then they have (thank god for Stanislavski). I think they have been really stuck in this old mechanical/plastic/bullshit-theater way of acting, obviously picked up a mountain of bad bad acting habits which like Stella Adler once said "I don't want to be subjected to that" so I quit and thank god for that. I don't want to be TAINTED with what they are "teaching"... I just feel sorry for all the others in the class, really nice people and I'll miss their company and I hope they all do great in the future.

My future is getting out of here. As you know I am going to RADA. I just hope that I won't be as surprised by these horrendous bad ways of acting that I met with in these courses in RADA. I don't think I will though, at all. Judging by this I think I'll be very happy come summer 2010. I'm just waiting for school to finish to be honest. Not that I care at all about the school shit, the only reason I am there is because I get cash and I refuse to grind my soul and spirit to a pulp via working nine to five.

I'm even thinking of going to the englands a month early, hopefully find and settle in a squat, get to know the place and stay there for as long as possible, hopefully to the end of the year.

Don't disappoint me RADA, please. I know the genius Stanislavski is dead but let not his work be. If that place doesn't work out, i'll just start working on my own...

...work my way to the top.

Books!

I am loving books more and more for every day that goes by. It really has become a new joy for me that I didn't know could be so much fun. It's not that I didn't know but as I grow up and change from my youth NOW books are a very nice pleasure rather then before. I got so many new books I don't know what to do with myself, I don't like to read quick, like some people do. I always get confused when people read out a book in two days or something like that which is completely crazy, I read as fast as I talk, like a narrative voice in my head, kind of like listening to an audiobook. I never read fiction, I should be clear about that, although there are some very special noticeable exceptions but those books are pure legends, like Lolstoy's Anna Karenina, an my favorite book Nicole Krauss' The History of Love, but these are truly special and exceptional. You'll find me reading acting books, well Stanislavski's books to be more precise, and philosophy books. I'm trying to find a good meditation book to read but I am not sure which one that would be... still need to do more research. I am not happy with the level I am at with meditation, I want to become better and be more understanding of the subject/practice, I will in due time!

The books that I read right now are Stanislavski's Building A Character again, because it's my bible (along with An Actor Prepares of course) it's now time to read Creating A Role too, so I am going to do it as soon as I am done with Building A Character. I also read Sophie's World which is a classic beginners book to philosophy. My thing is, I read the acting books after say 5pm (I can't read a book before then, I need to get into the "mode") and late at night I only read philosophy. 

About not reading fast, I don't. Like I said, I read like I am narrating. I also usually read a bit, stop, think about it and start talking to myself (via inner dialogue, not out loud unless I am alone) and have a discussion and maybe try what I read etc then get back to reading. This methodical, very brainy-inner-monologue-philosophical way of reading is great for me, very interesting and I enjoy it more then just reading something from A to B. I guess you couldn't do this with a fiction book though... well I never read em' anyway. 

These are the books I need to plow through, and I am doing it with gentle ease and enjoyment; Building A Character, Creating A Role, Sophie's World, My Life In Art (got a few chapters left, I read this every now and again, I love reading it a bit, puttig it down, reading something else then taking it up again, much like I will do with Anna Karenina) Existensialism, From Dostoyevsky to Satre, might read Art of War soon too, Tommaso Salvini's Biography, History of Love again, White on Black by Ruben Gallego, etc. Sandwiched between these I'll do some Shakespeare (got his complete works by Oxford now) and Chekhov (his complete works is in the mail).

A little footnote, "Blade Runner" has an amazing soundtrack, I am really really impressed, I am going to listen to it all day for a few days if I know myself.

So long, I think i'll do a blog about my way of acting next, because I've been thinking of the unimpressive thoughtless mechanical acting I've been witness to lately that I just realized.

Cheers

Getting Sick And Tired of This SHIT

Ok, I went to the library like I always do to escape from this mental hospital called "home" to read and relax. Relaxing is the last thing I am doing in this place. So I went to the library to read and over the course of an hour and a half I only read ONE page. That's right, one little fucking page, why? I kept having inner dialogues (albeit like I always do, but usually give it a rest while I get to reading) but I couldn't get todays thoughts out of my head.

My acting "teachers" are fucking shit. Harsh right? What they teach is fucking annoying and thats why I quit the Stanislavksi class because the teacher was getting to me with his annoying old-dog theater-tricks, same old rusty theater crap that you see complete amateur kindergarden folks do. My other class "Film acting technique" is slowly turning into the same shit, can't I just meet ONE human being for once in my life that I can look up to and learn from, ESPECIALLY IN THEATER.

This little fucker... (I shouldn't say that, he is a bit peculiar but it's just frustration and anger right now) "taught" us some scenography bullshit, something he called "acting", I'm not going to explain what he did because it was shit, it went in through one ear and out the next. 

For two fucking hours sat everyone there while he line for line went through what one actor was supposed to do while she was up on stage (two girls were doing a monologue, and he said "do it like this, cuz thats what is cool" yada yada bullshit if I've ever seen it) and I was eating my brains out. I mean it was the most over-the-top theatrical, mechanical, plastic piece of acting advice I have seen and I am sad that the people who were there might take it on and actually (god forbid) use that shit one day. All this hit me today though, I wish I had thought of how shit all this was then. He kept showing these poor girls how to frikking push a chair back as if it was supposed to make her seem more "in charge" then the other actress, showed her how to go around, stand at a 45degree angle behind her as if to seem cool or some shit, I mean I don't even want to go over it. TWO HOURS sat I there listening to this shit. 

I sat thinking about this and some other things, but mostly this and could only read one page. In Michael Cain's "acting in film" book/tv show there is a perfect example of how my teacher is a complete fool, and an old creepy bastard who is hitting on women in our class.

Michael: "There is a story of Jack Lemon who was working with George [Something], and it was his first movie and he come from Broadway, theater, and he kept doing a scene  and George would say "CUT!, Less Jack... less." Jack would do it [the scene] again, "CUT! Less, less" Again, "CUT! Less!" And Jack finally said "If I'll be doing any less I'll be doing nothing!" and Geroge said "NOW you've got it =)". See my point? Fuck is pushing chairs like an idiot walking like it's a scene from a spanish soap opera going to achieve? Ridiculous and complete amateurishness. I should tell him that next time. 

When I feel like the teacher is so out-of-line wrong and that I KNOW MORE AND BETTER THEN HIM that doesn't make you want to keep going to his practice does it? And I've already payed good money for this shit.

When my turn came up, 30 minutes after we were supposed to quit I did my "Friends, Romans, Countrymen..." and nailed it in first go and could fuck off out of there into the blizzard.

I feel like Hamlet, how he felt like Denmak was a PRISON to him, a *PRISON*, I'll quote what I quoted before;

"  Hamlet:

   What have you, my good friends, deserv'd at the hands of

   Fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?

Guildenstern:
Prison, my lord?

Hamlet:
Denmark's a prison.

Rosencrantz:
Then is the world one.

Hamlet:
A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and
dungeons, Denmark being one o' th' worst.

Rosencrantz:
We think not so, my lord.

Hamlet:
Why then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or
bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison."

Sweden is a prison! Take me out of here, teach me GOOD Stanislavski acting. Although I am starting to feel like I don't need acting lessons I need to start acting these classes are more of a fucking money and time sink then anything else.

Small Pleasures In Life

Sitting in my room with a few lit candlelights, they give a soft warm light against my light beige walls,  a nice cappuccino, a little bit of tobaco and an amazing film to see or a great book to read ("Sophie's World" right now, I only read philosophy during the nights) and the world is alright for now.

Watching Blade Runner right now. RADA can't come fast enough.

Although I hate the winter, it does look amazing with all the trees cowered in snow.

Poem, Nothing Will Die

By the poet Lord Alfred Tennyson, heard in the amazing movie The Elephant Man,

Listen to this, think of John when he put his head down.

"When will the stream be aweary of flowing

Under my eye?

When will the wind be aweary of blowing

Over the sky?

When will the clouds be aweary of fleeting?

When will the heart be aweary of beating?

And nature die?

Never, oh! never, nothing will die?

The stream flows,

The wind blows,

The cloud fleets,

The heart beats,

Nothing will die.

Nothing will die;

All things will change

Through eternity.

'Tis the world's winter;

Autumn and summer

Are gone long ago;

Earth is dry to the centre,

But spring, a new comer,

A spring rich and strange,

Shall make the winds blow

Round and round,

Through and through,

Here and there,

Till the air

And the ground

Shall be filled with life anew.

The world was never made;

It will change, but it will not fade.

So let the wind range;

For even and morn

Ever will be

Through eternity.

Nothing was born;

Nothing will die;

All things will change."

Rest in peace John. Still crying my eyes out.

Shakespeare In My Head

I am falling more and more in love with Shakespeare as I found stuff out. I've dropped out of the Wednesday Stanislavski class because I can't be arsed to do a play in Swedish, it's like pulling teeth and I will not be subjected to such nonsense because Swedish does not, what so ever, interest me and that is that. And I don't think I have anything else to learn from that course.

Saturday morning classes with Michael Manson is great though, it's brilliant fun, most of all because I can do Shakespeare since he is a Shakespearian teacher! So I am doing the "Friends, Romans, Countrymen..." monologue for the class. I keep getting the same remarks, SPEAK SLOWER, I know I know, it's a slight problem, but not so much to be honest, even Marlon Brando said that it's IN SOME CASES (not with Shakespeare I'd admit) it's more natural and truer to life to slur your speech a bit because that is what people do IN REAL LIFE.

Anything that comes of as theater to me is like someone is forcing you to eat feces, yes, I am making a strong point. Fucking hate THEATER theater you know? It's appalling. People don't go around speaking like politicians for christ sake. Anyway, there are so many issues running in my head lately but as you know I don't talk about my private life because it's of no ones concern except for mine and mine alone.

Back to Shakespeare. I have, like I said, a ton of Shakespeare monologues and dialogues in my head that keep repeating themselves over and over again, do you guys get this too?

Hamlet talks about what happiness is, if you like to put more of a backstory into this, watch this great TED talk at the bottom of IsItPossibleToBeHappy?

"  Hamlet:

   What have you, my good friends, deserv'd at the hands of

   Fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?

Guildenstern:
Prison, my lord?

Hamlet:
Denmark's a prison.

Rosencrantz:
Then is the world one.

Hamlet:
A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and
dungeons, Denmark being one o' th' worst.

Rosencrantz:
We think not so, my lord.

Hamlet:
Why then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or
bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison.

Hamlet Act 2, scene 2, 239–251"

It is very true though, nothing is neither good or bad, but THINKING makes it so.

And this piece from King Lear Act 3 Scene 2;

"

Enter LEAR and Fool.

Lear.  Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!

You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout

4

Till you have drench'd our steeples, drown'd the cocks!

You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,

Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,

Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,

8

Strike flat the thick rotundity o' the world!

Crack nature's moulds, all germens spill at once

That make ingrateful man!

Fool.  O nuncle, court holy-water in a dry house is better than this rain-water out o' door. Good nuncle, in, and ask thy daughters' blessing; here's a night pities neither wise man nor fool.

12

Lear.  Rumble thy bellyful! Spit, fire! spout, rain!

Nor rain, wind, thunder, fire, are my daughters:

I tax not you, you elements, with unkindness;

I never gave you kingdom, call'd you children,

16

You owe me no subscription: then, let fall

Your horrible pleasure; here I stand, your slave,

A poor, infirm, weak, and despis'd old man.

But yet I call you servile ministers,

20

That have with two pernicious daughters join'd

Your high-engender'd battles 'gainst a head

So old and white as this. O! O! 'tis foul." And a the first scene of Julius Caesar also STUCK in my head, HENCE, HOME YOU IDLE CREATURES! I just love it, don't know why, I love it. Last but definitely not least, this AMAZING monologue from Thomas Kyd's "The Spanish Tragedie", now don't get me wrong, when I sit here and quote these monologues I don't sit day in and day out and read Shakespeare, although I try, these are bit's that I have either read or stumbled upon but what difference does it make? I bought a 1400page "The Complete works of Shakespeare" from the Oxford Uni, I'll read that come summer 2010 in Rada.  This great monologue is very touching and I think it's VERY good, I'm planning on doing this in front of class with a few props with me, like a lit candlelight and such, I hope I can squeeze out a few tears as well because the scene almost demands it. I've read this and done it a few times BUT doing it in front of others is a different matter, just read this will you; "Heiro.   What outcried pluck me from my named bed, And chill my throbbing hart with trembling feare, Which neuer danger yet could daunt before? Who calls Hieronimo? Speak; here I am! I did not slumber; therefore twas no dreame, No, no; it was some woman cride for helpe, And heere within this garden did she crie, And in this garden must I rescue her, But stay! what murderous spectacle is this? A man hanged vp, and all the murderers gone! And in the bower, to lay the guilt on me! This place was made for pleasure not for death.          He cuts him downe. Those garments that he weares I oft have seene,-- Alas! It is Horatio my sweet sonne! O, no; but he that whilome was my sonne! O, was it thou that call'dst me from me bed? O, speak, if any sparkle of life remaine! I am thy father. Who hath slaine my sonne? What sauage monster, not of humane kind, Hath heere beene glutted with thy harmless blood, And left they bloudie corpes dishonoured heere, For me amidst these dark and dreadfull shades To drown thee with an ocean of my teares? O heavens, why made you night, to couer sinne? Bad day this deed of darkness had not beene. O earth, why didst thou not in time deuoure  The [vile] prophaner of this sacred bower? O poor Horatio, what hadst thou misdoone To leese thy life ere life was new begun? O wicked butcher, what-so-ere thou wert, How could thou strangle vertue and desert? Ay me, most wretched! that haue lost my ioy In leesing Hortaio, my sweet boy!" (Had to type all that manually, yes it's all spelled like that)

RADA Summer School Is ON!

It's official, I got my confirmation letter, come 20th of July, 9.30
AM I'll be at the doors of RADA in London not knowing what I am
getting myself into. It's going to be a very tough and hardworking
experience I think but I am sure I am up for the challenge, I need a
boot up my ass to get me into 4th gear now, been cruising on 2 and 3rd
gear for a bit now, and my appetite has left me longing for more.

My main question now is where to live? I need a place to stay. I have
a idea of squatting with a bunch of other people, it might be very
adventurous and fun, and I don't have to pay up to 300 pounds or more
to live there for six months, hell, If I feel like it, I could squat
indefinitely, hows that for charms?

After the four weeks of summer school there is a possibility I COULD
get into a week long RIGOROUS week of intense shakespeare that starts
the week after summer school ends, this is what they say about it:

"Once you have completed the RADA
Shakespeare Summer School, or a related
course in the recent past, you are eligible
to apply for Shakespeare in Action; a week
long, rigorous work-out with RADA's key
tutors culminating in the performance of
an adapted Shakespeare play in one of the
Academy's theatres.

The course offers close personal supervision
in the context of professional production,
with advanced skills classes and one-to-one
tutorials in Physical Performance and with the
Course Director. Be warned that this course
is exceptionally demanding and should only
be considered if you have strong stamina
and are confident in your ability to work at
an advanced level. Entry is at the discretion
of the Course Director. "

Fuck me, I kind of have to do it, I cannot pussy out, I bet this is
going to be the straw that is going to break the camels back in the
sense that If I can get through this without dying then I really have
made up for the procrastination and depression earlier in my life,
well the procrastination is still on a little bit but meh, it's called
being AN ARTIST.

My only slight worry is remembering my lines (I am NOT one of those
people who can read a script 5 times and they remember EVERYTHING,
more like reading it 50-100 times, no joke) and obviously the talking
english bit too. Although I am very good at that (for a
non-english/american etc person) it's still a bit rusty right now as
you might imagine because I am living in Sweden now and here we talk
swedish and not english on a daily basis, so it's going to be a bit
rusty but I have to plow my way through it.

Also my Stanislavski class that goes on at Wednesday nights have
started, and I'll be attending "Film Acting Technique" with a fella I
have heard very good words about on Saturday mornings, more on that
later though.

If you are not on top of your dreams and chasing em and doing
everything you can right now, try to do it mate. I have no idea how I
went from my deepest depression/procrastination state to where I am
now, definitely deserve a cigar.

--
Http://burakenk.blogspot.com
Http://www.twitter.com/buraken

Karl Pilkington

Mother

I want to move and work in South Korea, fuck everything else.

A Good Read

These are my books that I'm reading at the moment. You'll find Stanislavski's "Building A Character" (doesn't hurt to read it again does it?) Edward Albee's "The Zoo Story", "How Meditation Works" (if you are interested in either Zoo Story or the Meditation .pdf document then send me a mail), a wonderful glossary of Shakespeare words that is a pure life safer that I'll use from now on starting with Julius Caesar. Finish it all up with "Existentialism, from Dostoevsky to Sartre". Philosophy is incredibly fascinating, I'm not going to pretend like I can sit down and have a conversation about philosophy all day long (except for the obvious question like "what's the point of life" "do we exist?" etc) but you got to start somewhere!

I'm still trying to find a meditation course somewhere around here. Oh and I got an email from RADA's summer school, I don't have the envelope yet but looks like I got in, nice isn't it? My two acting classes start next week as well, FINALLY.

I've been having some self-confidence issues lately wether I can do this profession or not for no good reason, not like something has happened or anything... just all in my head. Thats what you get for living inside your own head for 23h hours a day instead of keeping in touch with reality. *sigh*

Learn Shakespeare!

I can't believe I haven't written about this before, what is wrong with me? This is one of the best things I have to go by regarding how to learn Shakespeare (at least for those of us who haven't gotten educated in it yet, but even so, I am sure even the "educated" ones can benefit from this)

John Barton's "Playing Shakespeare" is like a bible to me, it has helped me a lot when it comes to understanding and reading Shakespeare and I think that everyone who is interested should sit down and watch this. It's only one part out of nine, if you want to see the rest you can buy it online or download from your nearest torrent, I'd recommend buying it of course but yes it is THAT good, this is incredible and I've probably seen them all 2-3 times at least, just keep on repeating all of em'. I actually thought of uploading all nine part on YouTube but not sure if I would get in trouble for it.

I also found this amazing thing a day or two ago, which is actually the thing that made me realize "why the hell haven't I blogged about John Barton's Shakespeare?? What's wrong with me??" It's a director who directs PROPER Shakespeare plays (no conceptual, high brow, far fetched random shit) in New York, in a theater called Folding Chair Theater. Definitely check out his amazing guides/videos about Shakespeare as soon as you possibly can!

directingShakespeare01 01 a from Marcus Geduld on Vimeo.

Wise Words From Reddit

I've found Reddit not too long ago, and it's almost addicting. I love
"IAMA" (I Am A...) and "Wikipedia" most I think. IAMA is a place where
different kind of people advertise themselves like "IAMA University
Teacher i bla bla AMA (Ask me anything)" or ANYTHING you can imagine
is probably there, its very fascinating to read these posts and
glimpse into different peoples lives, and the Wikipedia section is
just people posting random amazing Wikipedia articles, addictive if
you like me is a philosopher (Lover of wisdom). It's like CRACK

Anyway, I have to share this that I found that some wise old oak (or
young who knows?) wrote down to someone who asked "Today is my 20th
birthday. Give me 20 tips for things you wish you knew when you were
20."

Read this because its bloody true.

By "Kerrz"

"Twenty it is:
- Put 1tbsp of butter in a sauce pan on medium-low heat, add 1tbsp
flour to the melted butter, mix until you get a doughy consistency,
and cook for a minute or two. Add 1cup of milk. Season lightly with
pepper, parmesan, basil. Let it come to a boil, then immediately
simmer it. It'll thicken up. You now have homemade Alfredo Sauce.
Prepare to impress your friends, especially of the opposite sex.

- Get involved in the things going on around you, even if it's just
your schoolwork. Sitting in a dark room using a keyboard to talk to
people a million miles away is not a social life. Talk to the people
at class, even if it's just about the upcoming test. Join a club or
something. Intramural sports are awesome. Varsity are good too if
you've got it in you.

- If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Don't rush it. It's nice to be a
fiercely passionate person in all walks of life, but it's a lot less
nice to be the guy who can't think ahead, or the girl who can't see
the forest for the trees.

- Slow and steady does not mean glacial. You're going to get spread
pretty thin in life if you're doing it right. Learn to cut your losses
on a project that's not going anywhere rather than wasting five
minutes every two months on it. Better to come back to it refreshed.

- Exercise really is important. We harp on it all the time, but if
you seriously want to improve the way you FEEL about life: go to the
gym. I come from a wrestling background, and Dan Gable is quoted as
saying "Once you've wrestled, everything else in life is easy." Same
thing with working out. If you go to the gym and work yourself out
HARD a few times a week, you will come home and everything else will
seem to fall into place.

- They've all said it already, but it's got some truth to it.
Disregard females. Acquire currency. It's nice to have someone who is
a close friend. It's nice to have someone who will sleep with you. Do
not make either a priority. If you treat people right and respect
them, they'll be there in a few years when you're ACTUALLY an adult,
and you guys can start making plans. However, you don't want to go out
there wasting your time and money on somebody that's going to have
giant life decisions to make in a few years, one of which will be "Has
it gone as far as it's ever going to go?" Treat the opposite sex well,
and feel free to spend time with them, but make it a fair deal, not a
one-sided pursuit. Don't waste your time and money on them until
you're ready to make a commitment to someone. (ps- At 20, you're not
ready.)

- Take every opportunity to travel. Broaden your horizons. See the
world. If you're lucky, and aren't digging yourself into student debt,
go on foreign-aid jobs during vacation periods. If you're like the
rest of us, and need to make money, look into working abroad for a few
years when you're done. Overseas experience is a HUGE boost on a job
application. Many countries offer "working vacation" visas.

- Always have fun. Work is hard. School is hard. Find something
that's fun and keep doing it, no matter what else is going on in your
life. Make time for it, or use it as a reward, but keep having fun.
When your life becomes all work and no play, you become one of the
drones helping to make this world a colder, more boring place.

- Control your vices. Fun is fun, but too much fun is exactly that:
too much. I like a drink. I set aside time and money to partake. It's
not a lifelong commitment, but it's something I do to socialize with
friends. I do not, however, fall down drunk four days a week. No one
ever should. Once a week is plenty.

- Milestones come and go. Woohoo! You're twenty! Big deal. You said
it already: "it doesn't feel much different at all." The same is true
with holidays, anniversaries and other celebrations. Too much stock is
laid into arbitrary dates. Make every day count. Do things for a
reason, not for a season.

- The brands you wear are less important than the total package. If
you're concerned about the way you look, it's better to spend time
learning about Colour Theory than it is to figure out where you can
find a good deal on designer
phones/mp3players/computers/pants/shirts/cars. Buy for build quality,
not perceived quality. Buy to last.

- Your taste in <insert object> does not define who you are. You are
not a collection of songs, movies and TV Shows. Be proud of what you
like, but don't turn it into the definition of your personality (see:
Goths, Trekkies, Metalheads.) Experience the multitude and be open to
it all.

- "Be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi was a wise
man, and this is probably the most important thing he ever said. No
matter what you want from the world: be the exemplar rather than the
fool crying for change. Lead by example, and preach from that example,
but do not become the hypocrite who strives for a green planet while
trashing his own house.

- Respect yourself. Far too often in life do we question our
instincts and decisions. If you're faced with unquestionable evidence
that you've done something wrong, then accept it and move on. Until
then, believe in who you are, and believe in what you do. You're right
more often than you're wrong, even if you seem to be wrong an awful
lot.

- Get shit done. Work to completion. Finish what you start. Do
everything within your power to make sure that the important things in
life happen on time and with minimal worry. Procrastination is both a
valuable stress-relief tool and a dangerous enemy. Use it wisely.

- Learn the value of hard work. If you've never had a job: get one.
ESPECIALLY if you don't need it. When I was twenty, this was one of
the biggest lessons I had yet to learn. I still haven't learned the
whole of it. Learn exactly what a dollar is worth to people. Learn how
much it takes to earn one, and learn how much you can buy with one.
Learn the lessons that money can't buy you at school. Learn
punctuality and teamwork in a real environment.

- Set your goals and achieve them. Think about it now. Where do you
want to be when you're 25? 30? 40? Retired? Take some serious time and
write out some serious goals for your personal life, your career, your
fame and renown. If you want to be the billionaire madman with a harem
and your face on the nightly news: plan it out. If your goals are much
more humble: plan them out too. Even if you just want a nice, simple
job with a wife and kids... start planning. Look at the road in front
of you, or you're going to finish school/whatever and be left with no
idea where to go from here.

- It's okay to fail. Sometimes you are going to make the wrong
decision. Accept it. Move on with your life. No one's perfect, they
only pretend to be. Learn from your mistakes, but don't be afraid to
make them. Someone's already said it above, but you learn more from
what you do than what you don't do, and when you're old and dry,
you're going to regret more the things you shied away from than the
things you threw yourself into.

- Don't argue on the internet. There are exceptions to the rule. It's
one thing to make a strong argument. It's a whole other thing to be
dragged into a drawn-out fight with an anonymous stranger. Avoid the
latter. It's a waste of valuable time and you're going to gain what
from it? Superiority? Be the better person to start with and walk away
from the fool that wants to waste his time arguing trivialities.

- Stop asking for advice on the internet. How much time have you
spent, TODAY, watching this thread for updates? If you NEED advice,
the internet is a great place to get diverse viewpoints. You didn't
NEED advice today, though. Go outside and play."

Thanks Reddit, your new frequent visitor.