Sunday, February 21, 2010

Getting Sick And Tired of This SHIT

Ok, I went to the library like I always do to escape from this mental hospital called "home" to read and relax. Relaxing is the last thing I am doing in this place. So I went to the library to read and over the course of an hour and a half I only read ONE page. That's right, one little fucking page, why? I kept having inner dialogues (albeit like I always do, but usually give it a rest while I get to reading) but I couldn't get todays thoughts out of my head.

My acting "teachers" are fucking shit. Harsh right? What they teach is fucking annoying and thats why I quit the Stanislavksi class because the teacher was getting to me with his annoying old-dog theater-tricks, same old rusty theater crap that you see complete amateur kindergarden folks do. My other class "Film acting technique" is slowly turning into the same shit, can't I just meet ONE human being for once in my life that I can look up to and learn from, ESPECIALLY IN THEATER.

This little fucker... (I shouldn't say that, he is a bit peculiar but it's just frustration and anger right now) "taught" us some scenography bullshit, something he called "acting", I'm not going to explain what he did because it was shit, it went in through one ear and out the next. 

For two fucking hours sat everyone there while he line for line went through what one actor was supposed to do while she was up on stage (two girls were doing a monologue, and he said "do it like this, cuz thats what is cool" yada yada bullshit if I've ever seen it) and I was eating my brains out. I mean it was the most over-the-top theatrical, mechanical, plastic piece of acting advice I have seen and I am sad that the people who were there might take it on and actually (god forbid) use that shit one day. All this hit me today though, I wish I had thought of how shit all this was then. He kept showing these poor girls how to frikking push a chair back as if it was supposed to make her seem more "in charge" then the other actress, showed her how to go around, stand at a 45degree angle behind her as if to seem cool or some shit, I mean I don't even want to go over it. TWO HOURS sat I there listening to this shit. 

I sat thinking about this and some other things, but mostly this and could only read one page. In Michael Cain's "acting in film" book/tv show there is a perfect example of how my teacher is a complete fool, and an old creepy bastard who is hitting on women in our class.

Michael: "There is a story of Jack Lemon who was working with George [Something], and it was his first movie and he come from Broadway, theater, and he kept doing a scene  and George would say "CUT!, Less Jack... less." Jack would do it [the scene] again, "CUT! Less, less" Again, "CUT! Less!" And Jack finally said "If I'll be doing any less I'll be doing nothing!" and Geroge said "NOW you've got it =)". See my point? Fuck is pushing chairs like an idiot walking like it's a scene from a spanish soap opera going to achieve? Ridiculous and complete amateurishness. I should tell him that next time. 

When I feel like the teacher is so out-of-line wrong and that I KNOW MORE AND BETTER THEN HIM that doesn't make you want to keep going to his practice does it? And I've already payed good money for this shit.

When my turn came up, 30 minutes after we were supposed to quit I did my "Friends, Romans, Countrymen..." and nailed it in first go and could fuck off out of there into the blizzard.

I feel like Hamlet, how he felt like Denmak was a PRISON to him, a *PRISON*, I'll quote what I quoted before;

"  Hamlet:
   What have you, my good friends, deserv'd at the hands of
   Fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?

Prison, my lord?

Denmark's a prison.

Then is the world one.

A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and
dungeons, Denmark being one o' th' worst.

We think not so, my lord.

Why then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or
bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison."

Sweden is a prison! Take me out of here, teach me GOOD Stanislavski acting. Although I am starting to feel like I don't need acting lessons I need to start acting these classes are more of a fucking money and time sink then anything else.