Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sam Lake Is A Genius - Address Unknown

"In this hall of mirrors, built by liars, I am a pale reflection of myself"
- "Somebody's been wearing my face again" By "Pool" (Sam Lake)

An excerpt from Max Payne 2 game.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Song Of The Day

Absolutely great tune, can't stop listening to it.

Acting classes going great. When we always do some exercise I feel good about what I do, but when I get home I always come up with another great way I could've done it better, and I go around thinking about it for the rest of the day. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing, obviously hindsight is always 20/20. That is why Ive been going around saying G-Man lines all day today, distracted by this I can't do anything else.

"[G-Man finally speaks to Gordon]
G-Man: Gordon Freeman, in the flesh - or, rather, in the hazard suit. I took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were government property. As for the suit, I think you've earned it. The borderworld, Xen, is in our control, for the time being... thanks to you. Quite a nasty piece of work you managed over there; I am impressed. That's why I'm here, Mr. Freeman. I have recommended your services to my... employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential. You've proved yourself a decisive man so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're interested, just step into the portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise, well, I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning... rather an anticlimax after what you've just survived. Time to choose..."


Just saw Star Trek (2009) it was shit, closed halfway through.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

My Life In Art

So I've been going to my double acting classes, Wednesday and Thursday nights and it's the most fun ever. Can't believe I didn't do this earlier, I absolutely love it, but then again, I could have skipped it altogether in life and never done it at all, so good riddance I started early in life!

I'll talk about that in a bit, what I came here for was the extraordinary book by (take a stab in the dark...) STANISLAVSKI, his "My Life In Art" is growing on my like herpes <3. Quickly turning into one of the best, if not THE best book I've read.

More specifically I came here to write a little piece that I read while I was in school, this was after class, I started reading and I came to this bit, read it a few times over (even half aloud, hey, no one was around!) and I realized how genius this bit was that I quickly ran back home to write it down here, to share it among friends.

Never have I read something so true and inspiring and truth full. Every sentence is like a gem of gold!

I'll set-up the scenario by saying that here Mr Stanislavski is about 25ish I guess. He is suppose to do a play by Moliere "The Miser Knight" I think. He goes to "Le France" to study a bit in preparation, goes back to Russia to his teacher Fedotov to show his workings and Fedotov mockingly smiles at young Stanislavski's amateur nature. You see, Stanislavski was truly an amateur (I suppose in relative terms :)) for a very very long time and he started with this when he was a little kid.

"You must have seen a lot in Paris" said Fedotov smiling to me "You have brought the whole orchestration with you"

Fedotov in true hamlet-act-3 fashion takes the stage to show how it's done and young Stanislavski is awestruck at his genius and his "acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness" as Shakespeare put it, i.e LESS IS MORE!!!!!!!!

"As was his habit, he would mount the stage HIMSELF and play, creating what was TRUE, AND FULL OF LIFE. And so destroying all that was false and dead. He played the plot of the play, but the play was thoroughly connected with the psychology, and the psychology with the image and the poet" (page 163)

And this is where Stanislavski's thoughts come in about what he had just acted out, and what he thought and felt when Fedotov himself came up on stage to show him how it's done. LESS IS MORE.

"How wonderful and simple! All that one had to do was to get on the stage and do the same. But as soon as I felt the boards under me all that I had thought seemed to be reversed. There is a far cry between seeing a thing done and doing it yourself. Once on the boards and all that seemed to be so easy while you were in the auditorium becomes devilishly hard. The hardest thing of all is to stand on the boards and to BELIEVE and take seriously all that takes place on the stage. But without faith and seriousness it is impossible to play satire or comedy, especially if it is French, especially if it is classical, especially if it is Moliere. Here the entire gist is in seriousness, in sincerely believing in one's foolish, or impossible, or helpless position, in becoming sincerely excited and in suffering sincerely. One can play at that seriousness, but then the comedy revenges itself. To live over or to play at living over - there is a difference between these two as large as the difference between natural, organic comism, and the outer antics of a talentless court fool. (page 163-164)

Good Night!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

More Acting Classes Updates (Surprise!)

After the first class, I was all nerves. All the nerves has now settled, and it it's place excitement has taken a seat. Absolutely love what I have gotten myself into, not going to lie.

After our first class, our teacher, Vladimir, invited everyone back to the follow-up class on Wednesday night. I went there and a few other people showed up as well, not everyone though of course, but most people. Also in the advance classes there were a few new faces, turns out, not a lot of people at all sign up for that class for whatever reason, it is bloody brilliant.

The basic Thursday classes are just that, basic basic stuff, still I learn a tremendous amount. The number one thing I've learned that I realized just yesterday, one of Mr Stanislavski's golden rules.


I am thinking of getting a full black t-shirt with huge-ass bold letters in the front saying LESS IS MORE, and wear it.

The advance classes are so much fun. We actually get to start a tiny little fun production on a play called "The Love of Don Perlimplin And Belisa In The Garden". Since we are like 10 people there, everyone is going to play a little bit I think.

I've read through the scripts, it's not very long of course, maybe a 20 minute play. And I really enjoyed it and can't wait to practice and play a bit of it, or fuck it, all of it =)

It's a story about an old man, single, probably virgin, who has his entire life been too busy with occupying himself with books, books and more books who is his most precious joy in the world. His maid, Marcolfa, nags Don Perlimplin that he is getting old and needs to get married, but the don isn't too happy with that idea and thinks that his books is the only joy he needs in life. Inside, he really is a hopeless romantic, and the women he meets via Marcolfa, Belisa, is a true slut.

After he thinks that his wife has another man who she has never met, but whom she loves so much more then she loves him, he gets this plan to ruin her the rest of her life, by taking his own life in a epic twist of events.

Some small details has been left out for your pleasure :)

Come Wednesday, I am donning my coat and putting on a little humpback and only answer to the name of Don, Don Perlimplin.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Talking About FIlms n' Stuff

Every time I see a damn good film, and I've seen a couple of them lately, I always want to just write about it a little, talk about it a little, but I never know where to start. Usually watching a film is an emotional state when watching a film and I am not sure I would know how to properly talk about it rather then show emotions.

Some of the amazing things I've watched lately.

Joint Security Area - By my favorite director, Chan-Wook Park
5cm Per Second - The most touching and beautiful anime film I have ever seen.
District 9 - Just remember, the actor in this film has never acted before, he is not an actor (well, he is now I suppose), still fucking brilliant. Perfect guy for that role.
Ostro Sledovane vlaky - brilliant old film from the Czechs in 1966. Actually won an Oscar too.

Now, I am not really sure where to go about explaining these films and why I am so fond of them, why I love them, why they touch me and I want to shake up other people and just say GO SEE THESE FILMS.

For the first time, words fail me :/

Acting Classes and Stuffs

I don't know where I left off last time but I was knackered for some reason after the acting class on Thursday, bag of nerves. I am a lot more upbeat today though and looking forward to Wednesday. Usually the acting classes is on Thursdays, but I am not sure if it was the voodoo in the air but Vladimir invited everyone back to the advanced classes on Wednesday nights for free! (At least for one class). Although the Wednesday classes are more advanced I think I am going to go by and see if i can at least just sit down and have a look at what they do, better then sit around at home waiting for the next day huh?

I got a few things on my agenda. First I need to get a flipping haircut. I look like Ringo Starr, fucking hell. Secondly I am still sorting out my drivers license thing. Was snooping around the net, not exactly sure which one of the 2000 driving license classes to go to, I just send an email to the one with the cheapest rate. Can't go wrong with that approach. Going on a class about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, and I think I'll book a few lessions for driving as well, that's as far as I am with the driving license project though, getting there... slowly. One small step for a man; One giant leap for mankind!. I only have Friday->Sunday do do these stuff anyway.

I am thinking of what monologue to pick for the acting class on thursday. I got a few ideas.

- Introduction monologue from Rome & Juliet (Shakespeare)
- One of the couple of G-Man speeches in Half Life
- A poem (The Solider by Rupert Brook)
- Perhaps even the speech-that-never was by Nixon if the moon landing failed.

I'll sleep on it. I need to get this rug of my head. I want to keep the sides and back really short and the top really long.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

First Acting Class Done

Well, back home. My first acting class is over. I am still a bit nervy, not sure why, it's over and I am home sitting on my couch.

First impressions. I like the people in the class. A lot of young folks like me which is nice, fifty fifty girls and boys. There is one man though that looks exactly like Larry David, jesus... almost like you have to see it to believe it. He is 50 something too. This guy was born to play Larry David somehow, someway.

Our acting teacher is cool, his name is Vladimir, he speaks with a bit of a russian dialect which is cool :) We got to do a few exercises of course during the 2 hour class, the first one was about sitting on a chair on stage. He immediately looks at me and says "Burak, come up here" and he asked me to sit on a chair, twice in a row, as an exercise. I am not going to bore you with the details but it has some good idea behind it. I am surprised that he picked me first, randomly, I thought "hey, this is why we are here, let's do this!" although I was a bit nervous. Not super nervous to be honest, there were some other people there who were a lot more nervous, and even admitted to it when we talked about ourselves.

He even invited us to the advance classes on Wednesday nights, which I have to go to. I am not sure if I am going to partake in the class which is more of an advanced class but I am at least going to watch it, and hopefully learn something.

We got some weird homework man, I can't even start to explain it, it's about some kind of body movement that we have to master, it's basically to teach us how to multitask, with our minds.

One homework that I can talk about though is that he asked us to prepare a monologue. I am not sure exactly what to pick but I think it is going to be the poem "The Soldier" by Ropert Brook. Am not completely sure if it's ok, it is a bit of a text after all, but no real talkie talkie, but I am sure it will pass. I just love that poem.

All said and done (roughly, am very tired) and my feelings after the first class is oddly... not sure. Am not SUPER happy, I did like and enjoy it but I am not jumping out of my chair, which I don't mind at all. I wasn't that nervous, was pretty comfortable with standing in front of everyone and I know that I can do better then most of those people, even the guy who has been in a film and a play in the US. I am going back on wednesday for the advance classes and thursday for my regular classes and we going to rock this. I dont feel like a fish out of water, I am just waiting to see how I react and cope with the reality of acting.


If At First You Don't Succeed...

'Tis a lesson you should heed:
Try, try, try again.
If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try, try again.
- Edward Hickson.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Project: Drivers License

It's officially official. I am getting my drivers license AND I am doing it as a my Project Work at school so It's like two birds in one stone ;) This genius never stops working, fucking A!

It is going to be hard work though I'd imagine, really hard. Right now i am a full time student at school, and on top of that I just got news that my acting classes are definitely starting and come Sept 10th it's rock and roll. So Monday->Thursday, I am pretty tightly scheduled. Well... I do leave school at 3pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays so a few hours there to reap. Although Fri->Sund is free I of course do have homework and stuff but meh, we'll sort it out.

The process of getting a drivers license in Swedish land nowdays is like getting your doctorate degree, fuck me.

1) You need to go to a few classes where they teach you about the hazards of drugs and alcohol etc. It's not too bad I think, basically you just need to attend. Not sure if there is a big hooplah around it, like major tests or whatnot but shouldn't be too bad. Whit this brain anyway I'll do fine.... right.

2) Is a thingy LOOSELY translated "Slippery Road" (I know the swedes are fucking funny arent they). Here you basically hop into a car and drive through a series of road conditions, like wet, ice etc to get experience and feel for what it's like and avoid shit like elderly people while you slide around.

3) Want to kill myself at this point

4) This is the funky bit. I mean a few years ago this list wasn't even as long as my left nut. Basically you did a theory test, you had a driving tests, if you passed they gave you a drivers license and told you to fuck off.

Now you need to do the theory AND PASS your driving test all within three weeks I think. Or else FAIL! and you need to do them both again until you pass them both within three weeks. Considering the queue to book a test is like two months, you need to wait something like two months at a time to try to do the freaking test.

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
..........''...\.......... _.·´
..............\.............\... This is how they greet you when you apply to do the test I'd imagine. Yeah and I agree with em, fuck me -_-.

As far as test drives you can either drive with your dad or something after you've done a three hour educational class together or hire a driving teacher from a school. The latter one is a bit expensive though and I hope I can do as little of that as possible. Dad should be good.

I always give this driving license thing a big push and get very bored quickly, I hope I'll pull it together this time though. If not for me, then for all the chicks out there who are dreaming each and every night to be picked up with a black old saggy Nissan Micra, cuz dats how we roll cuz'.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Back To Reality

Although I am sitting outside in the balcony on the construction crews scaffolding, chilling enjoy the wind and almost turned to God for blessings in the form of WiFi (life changer I tell ya) I still need to go through with school stuff which is almost paralyzing me with boredom.

It's a bit funny how I like to monkey around with this scaffolding. Climbing up and down up on the roof amazed at what nature does for a living. I remember climbing a lot of tree's and "mountains" (what seems like a mountain for a little kid) when I was 8 years or old something. Also remember I used to come home with pockets full of worms I found to show my mom. I put em' in my breast pocket because the only thing I used to wear back then was midget sized shirts :)


I am trying to come up with genuine good ideas for my Project Work course which spans this entire term. My goal is to pass all my classes this term and do well in my first theater class ever. Ive got some other ideas though but they're a bit out there... My first one was to build a "genuine" pizza oven in our garden. Although a great idea it could well end up in disaster with bunch of money spent.

Next idea was to get drivers license which I have been pushing up up and AWAY for a few years now. Shouldn't be too hard to get it I reckon. I drive well, just need to pass the theory bit, and how hard could that be. Might do that actually, drivers license. Don't really want to spend the money though :P

Did Geography test too, haven't received the results yet but I bet I passed easily and I didn't even study to be honest. Thank God for photographic memory.

Still no words from the theater class people, 10 days left, after that, world domination.

I am a man with no small ambitions, expect for a small penis. Alex made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Move to englishland next fall, study theater while he studies at Uni. Living together with his girlfriend the great Holly (name dropping!!!!) I am up for that 100%. Balls to the walls. The problem would be getting into school (audition you know)

I wonder if I'll look back on this in a few years time while I am a bum and hooking myself thinking "fuck was I thinking?"

Ending this long-ass post with jazz. I've discovered Chet Baker and cigarillos, still haven't gotten a pipe :( Enjoy.

A Poem For The Suckers Of Love

'To Silvia' by Giacomo Leopardi is like the story of my life. I tried to understand the poem, and I think I did, hope I'm not wrong, actually I hope I am because it's very sad. It's about Giacomo who was in love with a beautiful girl, whom died early sadly and in this poem he opens his heart about her.

Suckers for love, that's who we are, enjoy.

"To Silvia

Silvia, do you remember
the moments, in your mortal life,
when beauty still shone
in your sidelong, laughing eyes,
and you, light and thoughtful,
beyond girlhood’s limits?

The quiet rooms and the streets
around you, sounded
to your endless singing,
when you sat, happily content,
intent, on that woman’s work,
the vague future, arriving alive in your mind.
It was the scented May, and that’s how
you spent your day.

I would leave my intoxicating studies,
and the turned-down pages,
where my young life,
the best of me, was left,
and from the balcony of my father’s house
strain to catch the sound of your voice,
and your hand, quick,
running over the loom.
I would look at the serene sky,
the gold lit gardens and paths,
that side the mountains, this side the far-off sea.
And human tongue cannot say
what I felt then.

What sweet thoughts,
what hopes, what hearts, O Silvia mia!
How it appeared to us then,
all human life and fate!
When I recall that hope
such feelings pain me,
harsh, disconsolate,
I brood on my own destiny.
Oh Nature, Nature
why do you not give now
what you promised then? Why
do you so deceive your children?

Attacked, and conquered, by secret disease,
you died, my tenderest one, and did not see
your years flower, or feel your heart moved,
by sweet praise of your black hair
your shy, loving looks.
No friends talked with you,
on holidays, about love.

My sweet hopes died also
little by little: to me too
Fate has denied those years. Oh,
how you have passed me by,
dear friend of my new life,
my saddened hope!
Is this the world, the dreams,
the loves, events, delights,
we spoke about so much together?
Is this our human life?
At the advance of Truth
you fell, unhappy one,
and from the distance,
with your hand, you pointed
towards death’s coldness and the silent grave."