Saturday, August 29, 2009

Cigarillo On The Roof

Just had one of those amazingly tranquil moments where you just sit down and enjoy the second you are in.

My mate gave me a few cigarillos, so after dinner I went into my room and lit a few candles and thought I'd enjoy one. Next thing I know I thought "ah fuck it, I'll go out to my balcony, don't want to get nasty smoke in the lovely room" and since we have builders scaffolding around our house at the moment next thing I knew I was up on the roof huffing and puffing and enjoy the most lovely sunset.

Not going to lie, wish I had some company in a form of a women but alas, lady jazz was my date for the night. Wish I could take a picture of the scenery but don't really have a nice camera except my celly.

I am definitely getting myself a nice pipe or a few cigars next, until then, these cigarillos will do the trick.

So I want YOU to find a second for yourself, enjoy the situation, watch a nice film, enjoy a smoke (hopefully not cigarettes though tbh) have a nice dinner or whatever, but just love it and live it.

Over and out bitches


This one is for all the swedes out there. I take back all the shit I've said about Sweden in a cultural way, how fucking boring, bland and dull Sweden is because this one proved me WRONG.

Grattis, Sverige bara halv-suger nu.

Konstantin Stanislavski

I am so happy that I've now read both An Actor Prepares and Building A Character. I dare not say that I've learned so much that my head is about to explode because it's not really the teaching of new knowledge, but more like what you already have in you that you have to be conscious of and realize.

If ever people eve ask me "If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?" I'll say Konstantin Stanislavski so fast they'll jump two feet up. I'd just love to hang around him, and of course be one of his pupils and just bask in that cultural genius.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, If I ever come across anyone, ANYONE, remotely into acting and they don't know of this man I WILL look down upon them, because that is simply unforgivable.

Still no news if the acting class is starting, if it is, its on 10th september. Safe to say, I CAN'T WAIT. Before I start on his last book in this series of trilogy An Actor Prepares, Building A Character, Creating A Role, I think I'll wait right here for a minute, go to the acting classes, read Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" (among other books) because I don't want to get too ahead of myself you know.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Now I Am Become Death, Destroyer Of Worlds.

Oppenheimer's own words after the trinity explosion. Powerful, simply amazing.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

School #2

Keep on trucking. What can I say. Gotto go through some dirt to get to the other side, so to speak. Still no word from Kulturama about the acting class. Getting worried now.

Philosophy is great though... I say that but, I don't find what we are talking about interesting at all. We talk about Ethics and Morals. I hoped we would talk more about the famous philosophers and their theories and what we think about them. But I completely understand why this, what we are reading now, is actually what philosophy is about.

I keep reading stanislavski's book, Building A Character, of course. Almost done with it. I am wondering if this school shit is taking away from my creative side in anyway shape or form. Like I get so desensitized with this monotonous school shit that I'll loose my passion somehow. I swear. It's like when you were a kid and you that that homosexuality was like the flu or some crap like that.

Hope not :/

Like I said, might now study to get a high school diploma after all, might just jump ship next spring, fuck off to Londonland, get into LAMDA or something like that, study my ass off, keep it true to the art. I am not feeling this way at all not gonna lie.

It is a bit of a struggle, never been the school bullshit or 9-5 crap. I want to get into the theater. Am still worried though, what if all this was just that... a dream, turns out I am crap at it, no talent no shit. But then I just tell myself "Don't worry about it, less is more :)"


For all you mofos complaining about pics of myself, jack off to this.

Friday, August 21, 2009

N'joy Life Lifers

After studying for a bit (never thought I'd find myself saying that) and even sending an angry tweet about it, I got a call from a friend and after a kebab pizza, a vanilla cigarr, damn nice coffee, a shot of vodka, some PS3 and some amazing jazzy tune from Jamiroquai on my way home looking as suave as ever, like something out of a film, if I do may say so myself, in the middle of the night I must remind myself that the smallest things in life gives me the most bliss.

So N'joy life lifers, count your blessings and let me leave you with this little tweet from the amazing Tinybuddha!

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Gandhi"

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Has started. And I almost can't wait for it to end already. Call me crazy but I much more enjoy sitting in my garden and reading my books by Stanislavski amongs others, well do acting really, but alas, some things just HAS to be done.

Or do they?

The reason I got involved in school and have to sit down and learn about crap I don't care about is just to get enough high school points to get a chance to get into NYFA. Lately I've been thinking though that I'd much rather like to go to acting school in London and get classically schooled. Ive been looking around a little and i've found LAMDA, and they quite interesting I think, and they don't require that you have a high school diploma :)

Geography is boring. What did you expect. The classes are almost five hours long too, fuck me sideways. One thing that is pretty cool though is the fact that I thought I was going to be stuck in a room with a bunch of wierdo's who can barely speak Swedish. Fresh off the boat so to say. But nay, its a room full of pretty nice cats, and bunch of girls as well, which well... Is a nice change from how my classes use to look when I was younger.

Philosophy is cool, only been to one class yet, going to next one tomorrow. It seems alright so far, and I just love the teacher, Run, I could watch him talk about anything all day long. You know there is a question coming up because he squints like something I've never seen before, like his face ate a lemon or something. Love that guy already! This class is mostly filled with girls I believe which I didn't expect at all. I was expecting a room full of bearded, mid 20s, dudes all with barres. Barés. Bares. Damnit, don't know how to spell it and can't figure it out via google but you knows.

And lastly, and most surprisingly a class called "Project Work" (let's translate it into that basically). When applying to this class I just read the first line, in true Karl Pilkington fashion and thought "that'll do". I walked into first class (again full of women, what the fuck? now I'm beginning to think "is it because of me?"... not really) trembling in my boots thinking "gone and dugg myself into a good mess now, what did I get myself into.. :(" turns out, it's damn nice because its so free! I can come up with a bunch of stuff I want to do. And the teacher are SOOOOO COOOOOOOL (they gonna read this, so better kiss ass while I'm ahead)

Its basically like this. You have to come up with an idea for a project, can be anything big or small. Easy or complicated but you have to start some kind of a project. After deliberating with four other people I decided "If you want to get something done, best do it yourself". So my "Project" is going to be... Get through fucking school. Mainly it's gonna be going through my acting classes starting 10th of September*. Seeing as I haven't stepped foot in school and as you know my goal is to become an actor I'd thought that making a small project out of my first school term in FIVE years and my first ever acting class could be a good project. So here I am. Sitting on my ass :)

This blog should get more pics, I know...

Now I almost really want to go out and besides this compose my book as well! But that would require me to kinda go around the world a bit so not really doable. Its in my "to do in the future" list don't worry!

*The class will start only if enough people apply sadly, but I do hope it'll come through. I'll be gutted if the class don't happen :(

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Cecilia Bartoli's Mother

I can tell she is a wonderful lady :)

Cecilia Bartoli is great. I first got to hear her during one of the episodes in The Sopranos with her piece "Sposa son disprezzata" by Vivaldi (which you'll hear by the end of the video)

The reason though I am posting this vid is because of what her mother says at 1:25, and this is exactly how I feel everyday, I've already bought it hook line and sink. It's in my spine, but you (and especially if you are a artist) should know and feel this too. I am this, and I hope you become this as well... or rather believe this yourself in other words

"You must be an artist, and finally, you need a very strong will. "I WANT TO BE!" You must be utterly convinced that you want to be the best! "I WANT TO BE THE BEST!" Only this way you can achieve the results you strive for. It's a matter of great discipline, self discipline... and finally a commanding quality, because it is not easy to face a large audience, so you need quite a lot of things to be a good singer/actor etc"

This is my 100th post by the way, yay!

Errol Morris

Is a genius.

There is a rule that says "Less Is More" and it's absolutely so true, that's why Errol Morris is a genius. I love his work... am kind of lost for words, just enjoy this little video he composed for Stand Up To Cancer.

I think the music wraps the whole piece up for me.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The World Needs To Know This


I saw a man walk his cat today, with a leash, while driving with my dad.

Almost fucking crashed intro a tree in shock when I saw that.

The world needs to know this!

Sea turtle + Canon 5D MK II

I need to get me a Canon 5D MKII asap.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Friendship hors d'oeuvre.

Done working. Was a week of nice and fun times to be honest, except for the hard labor but it was a very nice change of pace. Mostly thanks to the boys I was working with, had a great old time, we laughed, have great little coffee breaks under the sun, had some fags and coffee... well I didn't smoke but you get the picture. I got to know three great new people whom I am afraid I won't really talk to that much anymore since the work is over but alas...

I love meting people randomly no where, either here or when I am abroad, have a great ol' time and unfortunately never see or talk to them again. But it is kind of bitter sweet too isn't it? You meet someone great, have a blast and then it's over and it's all just smiles and happy memories.

Flashed my mind for a second, all of these people that I've met.

The hobo in San Diego, he was fascinating. I wanted to give him 100 bucks before I left SD but I never saw him again. Wonder what he is up to now :) Would love to travel with him someday, just trash around.

My boiizz from Grand Hotel, the cleaning crew :) Love those guys, almost get a lump in my throat, a alligator tear in my eye thinking of all the memoraayz we've shared. Papagalo!

Remember that swedish old fella in San Diego as well while we're on the subject. I'll keep him as my little secret though.

And so on and so forth, this is what I want most out of life when I am 85 and just about to die if I get something even as an erection. Just brilliant stories and anecdotes to tell rather then being rich and famous like most people do. What's wrong with those people? I hope YOU are not like that.

Just realized school starts on monday.

Fuck Me.

New chapter in life. I wonder if kulturama will start that stanislavski class, i fucking hope so or else I'd be devastated.

Over and out.

Desktop Picture

My new desktop picture... as the titles says. Paintings fall neatly into the same category of poems for me, in the way that I like it a lot but I never go out of my way to find new paintings or poems. If I come across one that I like I love it and cherish it. Like this picture of a ballerina by Edgar Degas.

Wonder how he got the inspiration for this painting. Did he saw this ballerina somewhere? If so where and for what occasion?

What is the ballerina thinking about while dancing? It looks like she is having a great time. I see a hint of a smile and a care-free mode, like the world is alright at that moment when she is twirling. She looks pretty young too.

Good painting!

Ballerina by Edgar Degas

Hubble's Ultra Deep Field Picture In 3D

This is simply astonishing.

Friday, August 7, 2009

can't be bothered coming up with a title

why anyone ever would want to be a construction worker is fucking beyond me. i rather have a job fucking a poodle.

i am so knackered. kill me already. i got myself into a bit of a hassle the other day. you see we got builders working on our roof. the roof is in shambles as it turns out (more then we knew). and to be nice we give the workers some coffee and cookies, of course. my momz said to tell em' that the coffee is ready and they should have a quick break so i went down to em and told the head honcho this, he goes 'alright' and then quickly says 'hey, i've spoken to your dad and he says you don't want to work :)' and me being a true artist whom refuse to work as a peasant CUZ I AM AN ARTIST MUHAHAR said 'well yea, (i didnt go deeper into why, no point innit) not interested at the moment, and also i'm starting school in 2 weeks so... :)' and he then says (he fucking fooled me good, he got me hook line and sinker here this fucker) 'why don't you work with us here for as long as you can, say until school starts, you can start right now'. me being one not to turn down a opportunity like this i said 'well, why not, could do with some pocket money and save up for New York Film Academy or something' and off I went pleased that I am the only human on this fucking planet who can land a job without looking and doing it IN FRONT OF MY DOORSTEP


three days later, waking up 8 in the fucking morning til 5pm, working on the top of this house with the sun fucking blaring down on us while i am sweating like i am on a fucking desert i wish i could turn to him and say 'listen, the money i get for this, it aint fucking worth it, i'm fucking off and taking a cold shower' but i cant. cuz i can't quit. not a quitter.

the temp up there must be atleast 35-40 degrees. under ya is a totally black layer of tar or something to isolate the house from bad weather, and you have to haul so much fucking trash, i swear to god... there is a pile right outside that is so big, you could fucking build another house of it, and i hauled it all alone, in this weather. i have never hated clear blue skies and the perfect sun so much in my life. first thing in the morning i look for clouds, but all i see is a middle finger looking down on me

fuck me

my shoulders are burnt to a crips, my whole body is acking in pain, i feel like i've been working 72h straight, i got an X on my back from the fucking working overall i have to wear. looks like ive been wearing some kind of silly bikini top. i cant be bothered writing properly, and i havent had time nor any must to read any of my amazing new books that i keep dreaming about.

if youd seen how much water ive drank, no wonder there is a drought in africa, i am drinking all the water they shouldve gotten by now.

on the bright side, the guys i am working with are really really cool, lovely chaps, we fuck about and laugh while skin cancer is looming around the corner, mom makes us damn nice coffee food and i suppose i shouldnt complain. and this has only strengthen my love for acting which i now realized i cant wait to pursue.

you know of anyone that has gotten a job on their doorstep? no? thought so.
while i think of it, i also remember that i got an email from an casting agent asking me if i want to come to a comercial audition (which i didnt get) out of the blue as well, still i dont work

cuz i am an artist

time to watch John Barrymore in henry the 6th

not sure this post made any sense

Monday, August 3, 2009


A bit of a love of mine. Which is a bit strange considering I don't have a drivers license... yet. Am fully on my way of getting it now. Why did I wait so long? Story of my life. I am especially interested in old classic cars., like Jaguar E Type, the old ferrari looking cars. The old black gangster cars you see in Godfather with suicide doors, those kind of stuff.

I have never had any desire at all to be on a TV show like Jay Leno or Letterman or whatever. I love to meet them in person, but have no special desire to be on any sort of TV show like that. Never even put an ounce of thought into poxy shit like red carpet or Hollywood in general for that matter.

There is one show, one presenter (and one only) that I have a dream of meeting and being on. Jeremy Clarkson and his Top Gear. This man is absolutely special. I have enjoyed every single thing he has done. All his documentaries are amazing and I keep watching em' like the best documentaries I have ever seen. His presence and his style just fascinates me to no end.

Top Gear is the best thing on the tellie. Well I don't have a television and I don't watch it so I download everything but you get the idea.

Just watch this soliloquy from the last episode of the 13th series of Top Gear. Almost moved me to tears god damnit.

There are not a lot of people I have any special desire to meet. I have a few, most of them dead. Konstantin Stanslavski, Marlon Brando, Stella Adler, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein. And now and for all times I can proudly add Jeremy Clarkson. Don't know how, don't know when, but I hope somehow I do get to sit on that couch driving a reasonably priced car and just have a laugh to be honest.

Enjoy, maybe we'll meet later Mr Clarkson.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Farting Preacher

I know most of you readers (No I dont, thank god) but I know you well enough to give you something on your level, something that you will appreciate. THE Farting Preacher. Enough with poems, shakespeare, philosophy for one day so I am hitting you where you are most comfortable with tits and asses. Enjoy bitches

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Konstantin Stanislavski

What an amazing genius this man was. Truly a genius. I really wish he was still around so I could fly to The Moscow Art Theater and see him perform. Done reading Songs My Mother Taught Me by Marlon Brando a few days ago and started on Stanislavki's second book in the series of three, Building A Character. And I'll say it again, the man is a genius. His 'system' is to acting what Einstein's Theory of Relativity was to science. When I come across kids (because that's what they are usually, to be honest) and they don't got a clue who Stanislavki is I fucking laugh at their faces. Desperate idiots who got a hard-on for fame, the red carpet, money, houses and cars and don't really give two fucks about acting at all. Just a means to fame and cash. Makes me fucking vomit.

I got acting classes starting in September that is devoted to Stanislavski's 'system' of acting. It's 2h long, 12 times on Thursday evenings and I can't wait. A bit nervous of course but excited non the less. The question is though... is it going to happen at all? Because if too few people sign up for the class it won't start at all, which is a bit worrying. I've sent Kulturama an email (a week ago) still haven't gotten an answer as to the status of if it's going to get of it's feet or what. :/ And my favorite (but getting increasingly frustrated) bookshop Adlibris won't send me my books that I have ordered, a week ago that as well. I ordered a packet of 12 of Shakespeare's plays, the last book in Stanislavki's series of guide to acting, Creating A Character, and a classic book which I heard should be awesome, The Prophet by Khalil Gibran... Alas. Life.