New Website

I will be holding all future blogs on my new website: lleonlynch.com, see you there and as usual, I won't blog until I have something thoughtful and interesting to share! Thank you.

Sail or Move

I've been spending and taking quite a few pictures around the Stockholm archipelago lately. Been reading Bernard Moitessiers books since last summer, and now, I've been working, saving up to almost $10.000 and I am wondering if I should move to a foreign city (Paris, Los Angeles etc) or buy myself a sailboat, something in the style of Contessa 26, and just sail the planet for a while... For me it's not such an crazy thought at all. If I did that though (an absolute dream come true) there would be no acting for probably a few years I'd imagine perhaps...

I haven't spoken about acting for a while, nothing to say really. It's such a god damn bore to talk about acting. I've been in a few comercials, met some nice people, not that bad at all.

Anyway, how are you doing? Are you doing what you hope you would be doing right about now?

A Lesson In Acting

Ok, i enjoy finding "good acting" in other places than movies. Documentaries are great (observe human behavior) and now and again, youtube does a brilliant trick.

Here we have a person pretending to be British (I assume so based on video description). And if this was in a movie, it would be shown in the same regard as when Jack Nicholson did his "You can't handle the truth" thing. In my opinion, this did it better.

Enjoy.

That Annoying Moment...

...You realize how you could've done that scene better.

Damn, so I went to my first payed acting gig as an extra in a
commercial, all green-screen stuff with 18th century theme, fantastic
and fun, but oh boy is that moment anxiety-inducing when you suddenly
think of things you could've done that would've made a particular
scene FANTASTIC and then you just feel like what you actually did was
shit because of that? Yea that feeling. You live and you learn though,
was also a U-Boat captain, what a sexy outfit!

Wish I could live like this, but at the moment I am coward enough not
to be able to, one day when I am sick of this, I'll go and become
Ryokan

"Too lazy to be ambitious,
I let the world take care of itself.
Ten days' worth of rice in my bag;
a bundle of twigs by the fireplace.
Why chatter about delusion and enlightenment?
Listening to the night rain on my roof,
I sit comfortably, with both legs stretched out."
-- Ryokan

"Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu - chapter 20

Give up learning, and put an end to your troubles.

Is there a difference between yes and no?
Is there a difference between good and evil?
Must I fear what others fear? What nonsence!
Other people are contented, enjoying the sacrificial feast of the ox.
In spring some go to the park, and climb the terrace,
But I alone am drifting not knowing where I am.
Like a new-born babe before it learns to smile,
I am alone, without a place to go.

Other have more than they need, but I alone have nothing.
I am a fool. Oh, yes! I am confused.
Other men are clear and bright,
But I alone am dim and weak.
Other men are sharp and clever,
But I alone am dull and stupid.
Oh, I drift like the waves of the sea.
Without direction, like the restless wind.

Everyone else is busy,
But I alone am aimless and depressed.
I am different.
I am nourished by the great mother."

Very Optimistic 2012

I am quite optimistic about 2012, change is coming about.

Let's celebrate the new year with this tune. I feel like ripping my clothes off in slow motion

Different Acting Styles

So lately I've been thinking the way actors act and behave in
different kinds of movies. I was watching Lord of the Rings, fine
movie but it got a bit hammy at the end of the first film and it put
me off, proper aligator tears, not knocking the actors but I thought
that is the way actors act in those sort of films you know? I wonder
if that it how casting folks cast actors, PREFERRING people who act
like that, blatant acting, as opposed to say, Streetcar Named Desire
film? Like you wouldn't act the way you do in a film version of Death
of a Salesman as you would in, say, harry potter, or There Will Be
Blood as opposed to some random summer blockbuster films, say Twilight
or Transformers.

I wonder though, I don't think it is necessarily that the actors are
shit, but ThAT IS ThE WAY ACTING IN ThOSE SORT OF FILMS ARE
"PRESENTED", what do you think? The idea is highly off-putting. Sort
of like american news casters, the way they talk, if you've seen or
heard one you have seen them all because they are all exactly the
same, it's like a plastic copy out of a mold of each other. Sad.

Well, I change my ideas of what to do constantly it seems, can't make my mind up. I met the most fantastic girl, maybe around march time this year, was supposed to go on a trip around asia together on a whim... didn't happen, she suddenly disappeared, imagine that. I wonder how she is...

Anyway, I've turned my plans from a nice hippy trip to something a bit more sophisticated, I re-modeled my wardrobe a bit (I suddenly remembered I really like buying shoes), started working out again, healthy 73kg, why not, usually a bit skinny naturally. Think I need to head west, I've been sulking so long in this dready place, acting in Sweden? Come on...

Now only to find somewhere to live. Anyone want to share an appartement's rent? :)

But listen to the music first, amazing isn't it. 

Photography

There is something unimaginably huge about photography, something larger then life, I can't wrap my head around it.

Look at these pictures from Robert Doisneau, I don't know what to say. I love acting, now I konw I love life more. Acting and photography. One shows life, the other one captures it. It's amazing. What a terrific life to lead, acting and photography, wow. All I need now is to get off my ass, find a place on earth for acting. It's been a while now, Sweden, absolutely not. New York? Maybe. But how? Imagine running around streets photographing on the evenings, acting by night.

Mon dieu...

Carl Gustav Jung Quote - Food For Thought.

"We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not
liberate, it oppresses and I am the oppressor of the person I condemn,
not his friend and fellow sufferer. I do not in the least mean to say
that we must never pass judgment when we desire to help and improve,
but if the doctor wishes to help a human being he must be able to
accept him as he is, and he can do this in reality only when he has
already seen and accepted himself as he is.

Perhaps this sounds very simple, but simple things are always the most
difficult. In actual life it requires the greatest art to be simple,
and so acceptance of one's self is the essence of the moral problem
and the acid test of one's whole outlook on life.

That I feed the beggar, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy
in the name of Christ; all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I
do unto the least of my brethren, that I do unto Christ. But what if I
should discover that the least amongst them all, the poorest of all
beggars, the most imputed of all offenders, yay that the very fiend
himself, that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of
my own kindness, that I myself am the enemy who must be loved, what
then?

Then, as a rule, the whole truth of Christianity is reversed. There is
then no more talk of love and long-suffering. We say to the brother
within us: "raka!" and condemn and rage against ourselves. We hide him
from the world, we deny ever having met this least of the lowly in
ourselves, and had it been God himself who drew near to us in this
despicable form, we should have denied him a thousand times before a
single cock had crowed."

Food for thought.

Miles Davis' Performance In Sweden -67

Miles Davis: Stockholm 1967 from Jamie Wightman on Vimeo.

My Favorite Picture

I've been taking pictures for a few months, or over year now, can't remember how long, it's an incredible enjoyment. I work solely with B&W, mostly because I can develop it at home for a penny, at least that's the reasoning when I started, now I don't think I'd go back to color even if I could lavishly afford it.

Most of my pictures, under the bright sun have been quite harsh and contrasty, didn't like any of the very much although sometimes one or two slip through that I really enjoy. This one though, out of sheer luck as usual blew my mind. It is... perfect. The details (and lack thereof) the tones, composition I love it.

I was scanning a developed roll not thinkig or hoping for anything just sort of mindlessly looking and saw this one (and a few others that I took in the same place) that just struck me, YES, I DID IT. PERFECT.

The faschinating process of exposing and developing film, an ongoing saga.

This one, for the sake of bookkeeping so I'll never forget (although I'd never forget it anyways);

Leica Summarit 5cm f1.5 at f2.8 or f4 probably (notorious for being soft, very un-leica like, I love it! But the image is super sharp still, maybe I got a great copy)

Shutter speed probably 1/60 might been 1/30

A treestump under and surounded by trees in a small gravely road, draped in shadows, no direct sunlight.

Rollei Retro 100, EI 50 (I'm 90% sure it's at EI 50)

I developed it in Rodinal, for 60 minutes. First minute 20 slow agitations, then let sit for 59 minutes, stand development in other words..

Scanned with Epson 4990 with it's epson scan software

2400DPI I think

No sharpening, no dust removal, no nothing, just a straight up and down scan.

Now If only I could get this sort of tonality and picture quality in Sunny scenes a.k.a. Sunny-16 conditions.

YEEES!

First World Problems

Ok, back to acting. After an ugly run in with romance around April time, during my first french class (studying french now b the way, fantastic) had a bit of a mental set-back I must admit, but now it's time to drag myself back out from the rut via my collar and do something again. 

Thinking of getting a motorcycle by the way. It hit me as an epiphany, why do people ride around in cars so much unless you have a specific task to haul bunch of people / family or going to carry bunch of items or goods, motorcycle seem brilliant. The freedom, the excitement, right up my alley. Perfect, so yea, going to look int that.

Acting acting... I went and saw Apocalypse Now ON THE CINEMA (wow) the other weekend, was actually blown away. Always thought it was a good movie, nothing spectacular, war drama isn't it. But in that movie theater, no distractions, no internet, no nothing, where my five year old mentality usually makes me flip through webpages within, I kid you not, 5-10 mintues, I was mesmerized by the movie. Before I knew it, sitting in that dark cinema, two hours had passed, and after another blink of an eye, the movie was over. 

Signed up for a page where producers and stuff can look for extras for all sorts of stuff, commercials and films, tv shows what have you, and I got a few calls pretty quickly, feels good man, but didn't accept any of them since I am the wrong man for commercials and stuff. I know what kind of people they are looking for, and I am not the actor they are seeking for.

Life is in a bit of a low right now, depression and procrastination taking it's toll, I'm coming back swinging though. Where can I enjoy acting? Not here... not england, where? Not a major problem though. Everyday is acting, and as it keeps going just by philosophizing about it, I am fully getting in grips with it, just be ordinary, nothing special. 

Enchanté 

Makes you want to sprout wings and fly, no?

One Of My Pictures + Taoist Poem

"I asked the boy beneath the pines.

He said: the Master's gone alone
 herb picking somewhere on the mount,
cloud hidden, whereabouts unknown"

-Chia Tao

Don't cling,

Don't seek.

Wonderful Pictures In My Dream

I had this fantastic dream, that is not worth mentioning at all to anyone. It's more of a reminder to myself. I thought I would like to paint this photo I saw in my dream. I saw three that I remember actually. It was funny. It was about chinese people sort of "moving in" to a new piece of land, kind of like you move in to a new apartment. 

They were hauling massive amounts of Buddhist statues to this new land so I was photographing this procedure. 

One amazing picture I remember was sort of like a large pool. I was standing 20m above it maybe shooting downards at a slight angle (imagine you standing on a jumping platform looking down). 10 guys on each side, with ropes in their hands, was pulling up through the surface of this big pool a big Buddha statue, just as it was breaking through the surface so it was like the ears and stuff was still submerged while the eyes and nose was above (barely) water, and it looked like there were waves in the little swimming pools because around the surface of the statue that was above surface looked like waves on a beach. It looked simply remarkable. And this picture, and the rest was in sort of, sepia, brown-tone, picture rather then black and white. I was like "wow" when I saw these images in my dream only to wake up to a blank roof. Thanks for that.

Another picture was, if you would imagine a long cable-car type thing. High up in the air. I was in that, and infront of me, again, a half a statue of a Buddha. Sort of like chest and up, the rest was broken. Two big cables lowering this statue, with a very slight angle downwards (again, an angle you'd be in a cable-car in a skiing resort). The statue was facing towards me, with cables going right past me over my head (since I was in a cable-car behind or whatever). Beautiful mountain landscape behind with amazing clouds with sun barely coming through. Just beautiful.

Why these images in the dream? Why do things happen as they do in dreams? Very interesting. Just wish I had these gorgeous pictures for real though.