They say
"It's better to have loved and lost
then to never have loved at all"

I'm not sure if that's true.
Wish I'd never met that person.

Poem, I have a rendezvous with death.

One more poem, it's pretty sweet. The man who wrote it, Alan Seeger, did it while on WWI duty. Let me give you the poem. *ehm*

I have a rendezvous with Death

At some disputed barricade,

When spring comes back with rustling shade

And apple-blossoms fill the air

I have a rendezvous with Death

When Spring brings back blue days and fair.

It may be he shall take my hand

And lead me into his dark land

And close my eyes and quench my breath

It may be I shall pass him still.

I have a rendezvous with Death

On some scarred slope on battered hill,

When Spring comes round again this year

And the first meadow-flowers appear.

God knows 'twere better to be deep

Pillowed in silk and scented down,

Where Love throbs out in blissful sleep,

Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,

Where hushed awakenings are dear...

But I've a rendezvous with Death

At midnight in some flaming town,

When spring trips north again this year,

And I to my pledged word am true,

I shall not fail that rendezvous.

Beautiful isn't it. He actually died before his poems became famous. As is the case for some great people.

The user PoetryAnimations in YouTube has some great animated poems (as the name suggests). Here is the animation for Alan's Poem.

Bla Bla Bla!

I always have long conversations with my own brain. Doesn't matter if I am sitting on a buss, having a shower, eating or walking. I am always talking to myself in my own head, having arguments left and right about shit as if someone else was there to talk to, often times I just crack jokes though, as if I was at a talk show or something with people watching me, or having coffe with bunch of new people. I had this complete random convo in my head as I was having a shower. It went something like this...

- We are really lucky to even have arms and legs man, there are people who don't even have limbs. So in a sense, whatever we are up to, even if we don't work we are doing pritty fucking good compared to others.

- Yea you're right, but you don't really have to limit yourself like that. Just because you are better off then most people in the world doesn't mean you don't need to get better, and get an even better life! If you are born in Sweden, live in a big nice house and don't have any major worries you are good off but it's not wrong with getting more houses, more cars and more cash if you can! And if you can YOU FUCKING SHOULD.

  It's like saying "Aww some people don't even have dicks so you should't masturbate" FUCK THAT. Count your blessings AND have a wank, perfect :)

And then I got a little scenario in my head. It was like I was on a talk show, like Conan O'Brian and we were having a chatt.

Conan: Haha ok, but why did you pick THAT as an example? :)

Me: Well you are like your friends are [That was actually a swedish saying "Man blir som man umgås" and that was a rough translation]... *looks at camera* YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, GUSTAVO SOTO, ROMAN HASSAS, AHMED BARZANGI, KALIM KHAN!

*crowd laughs*

And that is like some of the talks in my heads, HIHIHI BYE.

  

Words of wisdom for creativity

 

-_- zzZzzZ

builders in the fucking house again. they started drilling THROUGH my wall, what a way to wake up huh. Fuck me. don't think i have slept well for 23 years now. and they are so fucking chitt chatty too. fuck my life. i love how my dad takes them in and gives them this grand tour as well. and why the hell is the whole fucking house shaking when they drill. EVERY TIME builders come here and start drilling i ALWAYS hear em go "...hmm concrete" after 10mins of drilling and i can feel the whole house shaking and my bed is jumping and moving left 1mm at a time. FUCK ME. which  means they have to drill 30 more minutes. 

Oh it was my 23rd Bday on January the 19th did I tell ya? More about it soon! stay tuned

A song for the oldies

Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
probably one of the best songs ever in my opinion, it's ageless, enjoy.

Dreams

Dreams are weird and wonderful aren't they? Don't they say that you dream about what is to come in the future or what you think about? Anyway... I had a dream once, not too long ago, where I was in a film, and we were filming. I'm not going to go into details about what happened because since it was a dream it didn't make any fucking sense at all. But I loved that dream and the "scenes" I was in and what had happened, with the music in the background and all so as soon as I woke up I immediately wrote it all down and I keep it in my little "idea book" =o)) I got a few ideas there now of thing's I'd like to do.

Anyway, my point is what my favorite type of dream is. My favorite type of dream is where I try to escape from danger where I can die! The dream (the small bit's I can remember of course) started of with a few girls giving my huge complement on a book that I had written, a book called The Heart of Dark or Darkness or something. I Wiki'd that and found this and that means that I have to read that polish guys novellas now Since you often don't realize you are actually dreaming I was thinking "huh??" Thought they had mistaken me for someone else but then I realized "damn, wish I really had written a book, how fucking cool..."

Anywho, back to escaping death. I was in this high rise building maybe 20 stories high. And I saw a plum of rubble and smoke coming out of a house like 300 yards away like a rocket had hit it or something and all of a sudden the building I was in was shaking violently, they were trying to tear it down and of course I had to escape that, then escape some builder guy who wanted to kill me etc. The point is, I love dreams where you have to escape death, it's like a video game really :)

What's your favorite dream? Think about it.

I <3 Astrophysics

FFFFFUUUU 2008, Hi 2009! New Year Promises

Hello 2009, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC, please have a seat.

2008 was bullshit, mostly because of certain someone, but that person is out of my life since a few months back (thank god for that) so 2008 left a bad taste in my mouth, didn't really feel like doing anything but since '08 is over I'm going to make sure '09 will be a lot better and productive.

If anything '08 helped immensely mentally to confirm what I would love to do as a profession in life, acting/producing/annoying and do funny stuff, creative things, 9-5 aint my thaaayyyng nygz.

- Be mindful and appreciative.
- Get a Job
- Do something towards something within acting and/or producing
- Brush teeth everyday
- Be awesome
- Treat my family and friends
- Eat a lot of good food
- Continue with blog since it lets me to start being somehow creative
- See world

I'll add this as time goes on.

It's my sister's Bday today! I gave her a pack of Paradis that my dad got from work hihi the perfect crime, although we got like 5-6 packets of them for some reason :-/ popular dude at work I suppose.

Here is frogger

Frogger made by Neave Games

Poem, Solitude.

I'm really starting to digg poems.

By Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

"Solitude

LAUGH, and the world will laugh with you;

Weep, and you weep alone.

For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,

But has trouble enough of it's own.

Sing, and the hills will answer;

Sigh, it's is lost on the air.

The echoes bound to a joyful sound,

But shrink from a voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;

Grieve, and they turn and go.

They want full measure of all your pleasure,

But they do not need your woe.

Be glad, and your friends are many;

Be sad, and you lose them all.

There are none to decline your nectared wine,

But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;

Fast, and the world goes by.

Succeed and give, and it helps you live,

But no man can help you die.

There is room in the halls of pleasure

For a long and lordly train

But one by one we must all file on

Through the narrow aisles of pain."

Ginger Tee

It came.

It saw.

It conquered the cold.

I feel like a million bucks, although it made me sleep for twelve hours...

After I took a hit of that I couldn't keep my eyes open to save my life so I gave up, but I feel great today, Fuck you Oranges, Hello Gingah'.

Since I don't have Ginger left at home anymore I can't make a video but here is everybodies Kevin Rose teaching us How-To, enjoy:

The "Common" Cold

What can only be described as the worst virus ever has crept up on me. What started with my mom being sick for a few days has turned into the bubonic plague in the Köseoglu household.

Moms couldn't speak for 2 days (thank god for that) and dad was bedridden and hasn't gone to work (first time ever) although I tried to dodge it like it was aids alas... here I lay.

If it is possible to die from the cold I am possibly headed down that road.

Wikipedia says:

"Acute viral nasopharyngitis, or acute coryza, usually known as the common cold, is a highly contagious, viral infectious disease of the upper respiratory system, primarily caused by picornaviruses (including rhinoviruses) or coronaviruses.

Common symptoms are sore throat, runny nose, nasal congestion, sneezing and coughing; sometimes accompanied by 'pink eye', muscle aches, fatigue, malaise, headaches, muscle weakness, and loss of appetite. Fever and extreme exhaustion are more usual in influenza. The symptoms of a cold usually resolve after about one week, but can last up to two. Symptoms may be more severe in infants and young children. Although the disease is generally mild and self-limiting, patients with common colds often seek professional medical help, use over-the-counter drugs, and may miss school or work days. The annual cumulative societal cost of the common cold in developed countries is considerable in terms of money spent on remedies, and hours of work lost.

The primary method to prevent infection is hand-washing to minimize person-to-person transmission of the virus. There are no antiviral drugs approved to treat or cure the infection. Most available medications are palliative and treat symptoms only. Megadoses of vitamin C, preparations from echinacea, and zinc gluconate have been studied as treatments for the common cold although none has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration or European Medicines Agency."

DID YOU READ THAT? IT CANT BE CURED, IT'S LIKE FUCKING AIDS, ONCE YOU GET IT, YOU ARE FUCKED, THANX MA'!

Well for a few days anyway.

I have to head to the kitchen, my friend Gustavo S (Who famously INVENTED the phrase F.O.B, Food over Bitches) said that vitamin C is good, which the Wiki article implies, so I'm going to overdose on that now, if I don't make it alive... whoever reads this can have my dreamcast.

R.I.P

A song for the lovers.

I'm trying to edit some videos so I can start getting out Karl Pilkington material but Final Cut Pro is a bitch.

Meanwhile..

Joni Mitchell - Blue Motell Room

Mmmm Science!

Science and animals are some of the most interesting things I like to learn about. I would never want to work with either of em though because I can't be fucking arsed to do researched but I like hard facts.

In the past couple of weeks I've learned quite a lot about space and time and abstract stuff.

Just today I learned about time. It's really a very abstract thing to say the least. Time is a lot more then just the time on your watch or your digital clock.

Time is relative. It's relative to big ass objects in space. The time (as it were) runs at a constant speed here on earth because YOU as an individual who preserves time is standing on earth which is a BAOIS (Big Ass Object In Space). If you would take a trip out in space where you are nowhere near anything with mass time for you would SPEED UP. Time for you would go faster then us people on earth and thus you would grow older faster etc.

Admittedly they did not say how faster it would be, but I can imagine it being very very very tiny, like... you would not notice a difference, BUT there IS a difference and that's fucking A.

So they closer you get to something with larger mass, the more time slows down. They tested this theory out. They shot a radio beam on to the surface of Mercury, and waited for a signal to come back. Since Mercury was at a certain distance away they figured out it would take X amount of time for it to get back to earth. They shot a beam just as it was passing behind the sun. The radio beams wizzed past the sun, bounced of Mercury and came back, but it had taken LONGER then it should have because as the radio beams traveled past the sun which indeed is a BAOIS the time for the radio beam slowed down and IT slowed down. And that is fucking interesting, and that's not even the top and bottom of it, I just scraped the tip of the ice berg.

If you wanna see the BBC documentary you can find it here (it's a torrent).

Science, YOU ROCK.

More long ass boring facts like this that interests me later ^_^

Top 25 list on iTunes

This is my Top 25 list. And I love these songs. A few of em' really should not be there, like Dream Girl with R Kelly and/or How We Do It Over Here with Busta Rhymes. The songs are good, don't get me wrong but not really top 25 worthy, I think I just over played them at one point so they snuck up the list. And yes even Kiss Me with Six Pence None The Richer Is There. what? WHAT?!?!

There are a lot of songs that are not on the list but should be there but haven't gotten on there probably because I skip the last tiny bit before iTunes can record it as I have listened to it once.
I've come across some really really good tunes lately as well that are really fresh (for me anyways) like Alex Morph - Walk The Edge(Morph Woody van Eyden Remix) HQ. I like thoes heavy'ish techno kind of songs, they bring a lot of emotions with them somehow. Probably because I personally link them to some video I have seen or some Idea for a film or scene or something that is rolling in my head.

Vibe Tribe - Carousel

But also classics such as The Thorns - No Blue Sky, Kings of Convinience - Homesick. Amazing songs!

I could go on all day because music is a big part of everybodies lives as a closure I can say that at the bottom of the top 25 list you'll see 2pac - Don't you trust me.

It's probably one of the greatest songs ever made, lyrically and all. It struck such a strong meaning to me. I don't really want to get into it but I was going through a really rough patch at a point in my life and I found this song hanging around and I found it and listened to it by accident and 2pac just sang everything I felt. So it has a really deep connection with me (wow that didn't sound corny at all). He must have wrote that song to a certain someone, he wanted that person to listen to that song and just ask that person Don't you trust me?

Don't you trust me?

10/10 Mr Shakur

Food for thought part Un

Food for life! F.O.B (Food Over Bitches) etc etc, we all love food don't we? Yes we do fatties :). Luckily I am not a part of you lot, since I am an ectomorph! In layman terms it means I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want and don't gain an ounce of fat. It's really a double edged sword since I am naturally very thin, the gym takes care of that problem though.

So I am gonna start showing off some amazing food now and again for your eyes to feast.

Today we start off with what my sis made today (the only good thing with having an older sister).



Chocolate cake with whipped cream! Suck it.

Here is a recipe for A (not the one we used, you think I am mad?) chocolate cake, make it, eat it, love it.

Fatties.

Dear readers.

Since I can't find my cable that goes from my digital camera to my computer I am starved for updates, until I find it though, here is some more youtube comedy genius.

The Mills Brothers - Moanin' for you

Listen to it, love it. Song of the day ladies and gents.

Follow Your Dreams - Don't Let Anything Stop You

I am having Hyundai Atos dreams

Ignore the guy to the right, that's Google's work. I am not middle-aged and balding with a green jacket, OK?

People don't know but me and a certain Atos (Rest In Peace) have had a very special bond. It was my friends car that served us amazingly well. This little Atos-that-could took us through rain or shine. Considering my friends are like 100kg each and we were usually three people crammed in the back this car went and went. We should have called it the Energizer bunny but instead it got the honors of being called Mr Bean.

Don't ask why.

I was sitting in the back of that car like a God. That little shit car once took us cross country in complete dusk where we avoided death several times just by the car's will power alone. Not to mention the fact that we had so little gas left we were practically running on fumes. That trip in itself is worth a post someday... maybe... if you deserve it.

That car was like our bat mobile, infact, if it was it would have looked something like THIS (the power of image editor's NEVER FAIL ME!).

So thanx for all the fish and see you later Atos a.k.a Mr Bean, although you deterred all the girls away from us whom didn't know what they were missing, you still is going down like a legend.

See you later, space cowboy!