I had a dream about her again, it was probably because I was thinking about her right before I went to bed... that's the way the brain works isn't it. I am not sure why I was thinking about her at all, I suppose I just felt like it and I didn't have anything else to mull over as I was trying to go to bed.

It's been maybe 7 months since I spoke to her for the last time, which is a good thing, because for my own mentalities sake I desperately needed to get over her. It's not all bad I suppose, let's me know I am alive. If I was this boring monotone cubical geek maybe I couldn't do something as expressive as acting/directing etc all that jazz.

It almost feels like (and I know I am over exaggerating like mad now) but it truly feels like I almost missed out on my soulmate. I know I know I didn't really but almost feels like it. It was all the small things that I really miss and enjoyed so much...

I panicked to get love. I think she has a kid now, she was supposed to give birth on march or something... imagine that. I suppose it wouldn't have worked out anyway since she wanted to settle down at an early age, but me? Fuck no :)) See you around the world babies.

Not sure if I hate her nowdays but, I suppose I still hope she is doing well. She always had it rough but I loved to always *be there* for her... take care lady.

Cha Cha