To brighten this miserable place up a little, more serious stuff later.

Celebrating 200th Post The Proper Way - Insight To "Thanks-giving"

Fuck thanksgiving and everyone who celebrates that.

The Genius of Stanislavski

I am still amazed at the genius of Stanislavski. What I wouldn't have
done to study with this god if he was alive around now. I am
continually amazed at what I read when I open up his books and just
like the back of his third book "Creating A Role" says at the back by
a journalist from "The Observer", "A careful reading is worth several
lessons in almost any English acting academy". I beg to differ though.
A careful read of his three books and to a lesser extent "My Life In
Art" (his auto biography) is worth several YEARS in any acting
academy, if the RADA summer school is any glimpse into what you learn
in RADA anyway.

I can't sit and read for too long. For two main reasons. When I read
my mind goes bonkers and all over the place when I read a paragraph. I
immediately take in what I have read and start talking about it in my
own head, so reading becomes a mentally hard-work exercise. And number
two, and more importantly, the books (more specifically, the one I am
reading right now, Creating A Role) is so jammed packed with
quintessential gems of knowledge you can only be amazed and learn so
much that after one hours read I am exhausted and need to step away to
take it all in.

Like I said, a careful read is wroth several years in any english
acting academy.

Creating A Role, P.95. Talking about when an actor works with a play
in his imagination THOROUGHLY and he KNOWS the character like the back
of his hands, like when you live with someone for so long you KNOW how
that person is going to react to this or that, he says;
"When the actor in his creativeness measures up to a remarkable text,
the words of his parts prove the best, the most indispensable, the
easiest form of verbal embodiment with which he can make manifest his
own creative emotions through his inner core."

At the beginning of studying of a part the text on your paper is just
a bunch of words that mean nothing to you. They are as alien to you as
a foreigner whom you don't know exists that breathes and lives on the
other side of the planet. But when you study and study and study, go
through the play with your imagination and your own mind there comes a
point when you, without sounding too cheesy, become the part, and all
of a sudden the text that at the beginning were completely alien, all
of a sudden, in that given circumstance that you find yourself in the
play/role, no other word could fit more perfectly to go from your soul
out through your lips.

Mind = blown.

More of this to come. I've been thinking way too much lately.

The Enlightenment of Sokei-an Sasaki

"One day I wiped out all the notions from my mind. I gave up all
desire. I discarded all the words with which I thought and stayed in
quietude. I felt a little queer—as if I were being carried into
something, or as if I were touching some power unknown to me . . . and
Zzzt! I entered. I lost the boundary of my physical body. I had my
skin, of course, but I felt I was standing in the center of the
cosmos. I spoke, but my words had lost their meaning. I saw people
coming towards me, but all were the same man. All were myself! I had
never known this world. I had believed that I was created, but now I
must change my opinion: I was never created; I was the cosmos; no
individual Mr. Sasaki existed."

Can't wait to act. I want to get to acting and show everyone that I
can do it better then anyone else.

A Streetcar Named Desire + Fugitive Kind ON THE MOVIES.

Best movie experience I've had in my life so far. Now, I've seen both
films a few times before already, of course, so I wasn't sure if I
should go see it again, I thought I should let it rest for a few years
before watching it again but then I thought "these films on the
cinema... when will I get that chance again?"... so I went! And damn
and I glad I did. These two films, especially Streetcar is so much
better on the big screen it's freaky. It was as if I saw them for the
first time.

Usually when I watch a film unless it's SUPER good I get bored after
an hours, my mind is simply all over the place sometimes, but I flew
threw both these films and it was pure joy. Watching Brando (I call
him "my teacher" in my head, because he really is the one who taught
me acting) on the big screen is just fascinating and I hope to do just
a good of a job like he one day!

One thing that was fascinating was to hear peoples reaction watching
the film. People were laughing quite a lot at Brando. Not AT him but
with him like he was a jokester, people were obviously on "his side"
from the beginning which was interesting. Yes it is different watching
films in a situation like that.

I sat as I mostly do in the middle of the 4th row. I slide forward a
bit to the edge of my seat with my neck resting on the back-rest and
kick my feet up and life is good. It really is one of my favorite
things to do.

I saw Streetcar yesterday and just got back home from watching The
Fugitive Kind and yea Marlon is great of course but this time I really
took a huge shine towards Anna Magnani. She really put on a fantastic
performance in this film and I've heard people don't like her acting,
they must be out of their minds. "Smaken som baken", as they say in
Sweden. And I almost cried at the end of the film when she is standing
in her thing that she build up that the old man burns down right after
she tells Xavier a bunch of heartfellt stuff and takes a handfull of
those things that hang down and puts it on her while swirling... wow.

She actually looks like a skinny version of my mom a lot, freaky.

So there you go, my definitely best movie experience so far. Maybe I
can give you, the future reader, one one day.

Still don't know how to get to L.A. I keep myself busy a bit with
photography and I've just run out of money, but it's cool, I really
don't give a rats ass about money.

Italia Uno

Ok Italia Uno, my favorite place while I was in London. The best thing is that it was like 50 meters from where I live, I just exited the place I was staying at, took a right then was there in 30 seconds. I don't know exactly but it must've been like 95 Charlotte Street or something because I was staying at 99 Charlotte Street. I love this place because it was really authentic italian. The people working there barely spoke a lick of Enlglish, except for the owner Felice (not sure how you spell that name). Felice was so cool man, I used to go there pretty often with a script in hand thinking and memorizing stuff, it felt so calm and the right place to be when doing such stuff. 

I used to sit by the window looking at people walking by and it was twice the enjoyment when it was POURING outside and I sat there with script on my right, cup of coffee on my left and I thought "this is the way to live it"... life that is.

I kick myself for always forgetting my camera at home EVERYDAY, jesus... but the best memories are in my head anyways so.

Often I sat there and had a nice friendly chat with Felice and sometimes with the old boys sitting outside. One of them even gave me a cigar once, it was like they invited me to their family. I would love to go there again as soon as possible to have another italian sandwich and talk to Felice and have a cigar with the old fellas with a new script in my hand snapping pictures and watching football later...

...maybe one day in the future.

So, if you go to London, go to Italia Uno and say 'Hi' to Felice, he works like 6-7 days a week (closed on Sunday when there is football)

Stanley Kubrick Says

Good, good man.

Writing my autobiography... thus far.

I was watching The Last Emperor the other night and early in the film a man gets send to prison where he and everyone else is given a empty book and a piece of charcoal and are told to write down the story of their life so far and confess to the bad things they have done. I thought what a wonderful idea! Why not sit and write a full autobiographical book ABOUT ME that no one will ever read, because it won't be shown to anyone else. An amazing writing exercise I think.

I am immediately intrigued and feel like it sounds like a super fun idea. The idea about being brutally honest to yourself while writing down EVEN THOUGH NO ONE IS GOING TO READ IT is a bit intimidating. I kind of painted this romantic picture in my head of writing it while abroad with my Nikon FM2n beside me under a tree or something churning out pages.   

I think I need to migrate to L.A or something. RADA aint going to work. Theater in NY sounds fun though. Oh, maybe I will write a book about MY theory of acting, how about that? Cheers. How do I go to L.A though? My downside is I am to lazy (read: Artistic... HA!) to work, I think I might pull myself out of my sofa and do it though, how else am I going to go there? If anyone has a couch for me to crash over there, do send an email :-) Words on the street is that I am brilliant to have around, like a house spirit.

Book about myself, book about my theory of acting (very zen-buddhist style) and L.A. Uh... good luck. Thanks.

Reminds me to write about the amazing ITALIA UNO next time. I miss that place already.

A Taoist Poem

"A Taoist poet, T`ao Ch`ien (372-427 A.D.). said

"Plucking chrysanthemums along the eastern fence;

Gazing in silence at the Southern Hills;

The birds flying home in pairs

Through the soft mountain air of dusk -

In these things there are deep meaning.

But when we are about to express it.

We suddenly forget the words"

You can read more specifically about it here. And also Alan Watts mentioned in in an .mp3 file I have called Man In Nature. Deeply fascinating. 

Romania?

Don't get exited, I'm not doing some village-play in Romania. I got a
great friend whom I met in San Diego, great girl, so much fun. She
even traveled around Europe for a bit, same time I was in turkishland
with my parents so we decided to meet up in Istanbul to crash the city
for a couple of days, again great fun! It's been a few years seens
I've seen her last (aaww), looks like she joined the Peace Corps and
ended up being a teacher in Romania! She explained Panciu as this calm
vinyard place surrounded with hills and this peaked my interest. Why
not meed up with the funniest girl on terra firma with my Nikon F5 and
Nikon FM2 (which I'll be getting soon I hope), bunch of film rolls,
books and just see what's what in Panciu? Better to go there and relax
and enjoy myself then stay here and do the same I would've thought.

Still no clue whatsoever about what to do with acting, no chance I am
doing a three year stint in RADA, if I know myself I'll get bored
after a month and start tearing that place a new one. I'd be mistaking
walls for mountains and start climbing them claiming it a new
country... alas.

We'll see where the wind takes me. There is this one girl from an
acting class from early this year that I keep reminiscing about. Now,
usually I never meet someone who interest me too much, most people are
quite a like one another dear I say and that bores me to no end, I
love individuality. This one though had a great energy about her. It
was almost palpable. She had the most beautiful curly hair and a
adorable personality to match, and she smelled like vanilla. Her name
was Julia if I remember correctly, but don't quote me on it, names was
never my forte. Unfortunately I quit before I thought of getting her
number or whatever, humpf...

Romania, how does that sound? I'll spend my last bucks going there and
back and I'll be a man all out of money. Bad habbit that, never got
that urge to make money unless I have I need money for something. Damn
natureboy.

In The Mood For Love

I feel obliged to remind people of this film.

Misty Rain On Mount Lu

On Mount Lu there is misty rain,
And the River Zhe is at high tide.
When you have not been there,
your heart is filled with longing;

But when you have been there and come back,
it was nothing special.
Misty rain on a mountain,
A river at high tide.

~By Sotoba, the Chinese Poet (1036~1101)

Isn't that beautiful? I need to find me a book with a collection of
old eastern asian poems like such. Zen-like poems.

A Sanskrit Proverb

Look To This Day
For it is life,
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and verities of existence,
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power . . .

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of
happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of
hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

- Sanskrit Proverb

What To Do...?

Still thinking about John Cazale... If only he had an autobiographical book I could read. 

So, I am unsure what to do next. I don't want to stay in Sweden that's obvious. I just might go and do an audition for RADA for the three year course. Imagine going to school for THREE years though, gosh. I'll be 28 by the time I finish IF I GET IN ON MY FIRST AUDITION. Humm.. what to do what to do. I'd like to do more film stuff. I still think that theater will be a great foundation experience for me, but I am definitely more inclined for film in my nature then theater. It became quickly obvious 2-3 weeks into RADA summer course that there is a lot more bodily gesticulation and motions (obviously) then I thought, a bit disconcerting for my taste.

I got an email from a great old friend, a friend I met in San Diego and whom I later met up in Istanbul and had a great time with, looks like she joined the Peace Corp and is working as a teacher in a, what sounds like, a looovely part in Romania with Vineyards and hills and stuff. I'd love to go there for a while, just chilling and relaxing (like I haven't done that enough, but need a change of scenery :P) and hang out with my old travel buddy and indulge more of my photography. I'm probably going to get me a Nikon FM2n (I'd love to have a FM3A but way expencive, 400 bucks or something).

Humm... what to do, what to do?

3 years RADA, travel, or at least get a frigging job like a normal human while I think about it, jeez. I still miss all my mates from my summer class, the friday night before we left was so much fun. I am usualy not a club guy but that was amazing fun.

The Blog That Keeps On Giving

I really should keep up with my blog again. I am stunned at the good things in it (look at me bigging up my own blog). No but really. Just did a quick scroll down and found an amazing bit of question from Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what

if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange

and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the

flower in your hand? Ah, what then?"

Isn't that beautiful? I forgot about that. And also the documentary about John Cazale... wow. If you just found this blog or whatever, please do yourself a favour, watch this 30 minute documentary about an incredibly fantastic actor. I'll be brooding over the way he acted and take it to heart in hopes to learn something from him. "If I have seen further, it's because I stood on the shoulders of giants". Please please watch it. Thank you.

Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts Summer School

I should first do a little notice and explain why I have been absent. I sort of lost interest a little bit and nothing special was happening up to going to RADA and I didn't feel like talk about myself (because that is so boring let's be honest, keeping this pro and not personal, although that is what people want to read the most).

It's over! I can't believe it, didn't even feel like it ever began. Damn times flies by so fast. Two weeks in it felt like it had been two months, when it was all over felt like it had been two days, go figure. For anyone wondering, it was amazing fun. We were thirteen funny poeple, all sorts of folks who got together and for four weeks had an amazing experience together. As usual, out of 13 people we were only 3 guys, yet there are by far a lot more male roles then female roles out there, what the fak? 

As far as the course goes, we did a Shakespearian play, Measure For Measure. We didn't do the whole thing though, we did like a boiled-down 40 minute version where the same character was played by different people. I for example played the strict and weak (in some aspects) Lord Angelo. More specifically Act 2 Scene 4 with my co-actor Colleen who played Isabella wonderfully, great cast as far as I am concerned. 

I also played a tiny Lord Angelo bit at the beginning of Act 5 Scene 1 then quickly switched over to playing the Duke for the last bit where Angelo is put into his place and he admits his wrong-doings and I sort everything out. 

I am so happy I managed to do a short but fun Shakespeare play! And Angelo was an interesting character and I love my scene (Act 2 Scene 4) I think it was very interestingly directed by our teacher/director the sweet Brigit Panet. 

We Did a lot more then just doing a Shakespeare play though. We had a ton of voice classes, monologue class, stage combat, stage fight (fencing) and perhaps the best class of them all... DANCING. Guess what the teacher's name is? Dr. Dance. BOOM. Let it hit you like a ton of bricks. Well, his actual name is Darren but he is known as Dr. Dance a.k.a. The God of Dance. We did a HUGE dance routine with ALL the other groups (The summer course kids were split into six groups, with about 13 people in each group) at the last day and our class (the best class if you ask me) we were the mighty and elegant Peacocks! We had lovely masks on and everything. And at the end after a few dranks (yes, I say dranks) Dr. Dance went wild and did a solo dance-off to "I Will Survive". Am now forever in love with another male. 

Our class was so funny. We had all sorts of people. A few young girls, a few old girls. A few experienced people and a few un-experienced. I think everyone pulled together at the end and did a great performance. After our performance (we did it at like 11am or something) me and my filipino casanova friend Carlos went to get some food and we both were super tired at the beginning of the first week, after we had done our show though, we both were so pumped we could've done a brand new play straight away! Alas.

Now back in Sweden though I have NO IDEA what to do next, have no clue where to turn to. Perhaps audition for a the full three year course? I have a feeling that would be boring though. Three years is such a long time, I was slightly feeling I wanted to do something new at the beginning of the last week there. Uh, no idea what to do.

Still though, I went to RADA for a whole month (there should be 40 days in a month from now on) had a BLAST the night after it was over (by the way, fuck bowling) when we all went partying and I did ALL OF THAT (and a bag of chips) and now am at home. Kind of feels like my USA adventure, sometimes when I look back I can't believe I actually did that. "Did I do that? Cool"

Now everyone wants me to get Facebook "By popular demand" "Gone but not forgotten". I miss everyone from class.

Off to new adventures, I'll try to keep the blog updated more from now on, and I might add details about the specific classes in the future. Anything in particular you want to know? Email me.

Off to new adventures!

First Day At RADA

A good one!

I am not interested anymore to tell people in the future what I did or do in these days of writing anymore. I'm just always looking out the window. Even when I was in these acting classes, always looking out the window, over the next hill, the next curve and all that jazz.

I'm just don't want to tell people what I am up to, I live a solo life.

BUT our head-teacher told us to log what we do, so I am going to blog about that! What goes on in my head... phew, don't bother, driving me nuts, I should see a physiatrist, but they are neither worth my money nor time, time sink.

Anyway, we started off at 9.30am, we all basically checked in and got our fobs so we can walk freely around RADA and all that good stuff. Again, mostly girls in the group, which is alright but I'd like to have more men to get inspiration or whatever, to see how other guys do it, we got two other dudes though, better then nothing, seems like fun guys as well so yeah.

What is it with guys and acting classes, why are there 90% women? When we were sitting in the main theater room I saw a feeeew dudes, not that many, again mostly women, a bit boring but whatever.

The people in my class are cool though, all sorts of people. Uh, before I forget, 90% americans :) or north americans. Funny is that? Funny to me.

Not sure what to write, my mind is somewhere else. Kenshin OAV series has me on a emotional rollercoster the pasts weeks. I can't get this song out of my ears.

Don't watch the video of this youtube clips, just listened to the song. Of course the song means nothing to you, but it has emotional memories going wild in my memories.

RADA good though, we did bunch of stuff bla bla bla, my mind is somewhere else.

I feel Kenshin. It was a bit the same when watching Runway Train, was almost like watching my self riding on that train.

We are going to do Measure For Measure, so I'll go and read that. Later

Alan Watts On Death

I feel like making a video of this as my last film for my beginners filmmaker class.

"Going to sleep, and never waking up"

Funny that. Alan Watts died in his sleep due to heart failure. A case of art imitating life perhaps.

UPDATE: Can't believe this video is gone, thank god I saved it on mp3, feel yourself unlucky. Do send an email if you are curious as to what this clip was.

Gorillas

"Hey Leon, want to go clubbing?

"no"

"Hey Leon, want to go to this or that movie premier Brad Pitt and bla bla is going to be there?"

"no"

"Leon, want to go and check out maybe buy a new car?"
"no"

"Go hit on hot chicks at the beach?"
"no"

I rather do this

C ya later.

To the reader-

"This figure that thou here seest put

It was for gentle Shakespeare cut

Wherein the graver had a strife

With nature to outdo the life

O, could he but have drawn his wit

As well in brass he hath hit

His face, the print would then surpass

All that was ever writ in brass!

But since he cannot, reader, look

Not on his picture, but his book."

- Ben Jonson